Before I write further, here's how bro. Keek began his session about
Emotional Intelligence --> go read books by
Daniel Goleman and google
Amygdala (inside the centre of your brain covered by a large portion of Thalamus).
The talk hit me hard from the beginning, when he ask -- do you think you are a logical or rational person?
*I've always thought I am, since I'm just a white hat neutral uppekkha person* But he went on asking -- then why sometimes you can say the wrong things at the slip of your tongue or at the spur of moment stop talking to a friend ever?
Yeah... if I have a high EQ
*which I've always thought I have* why do I still feel offended at times, feel like cursing people inside my heart or sometimes really react illogically / unpredictably? Even when I could have used my mental "thought" to analyze the "situation" and control the "feeling" but unfortunately at times I got
...amygdala hijacked...Another way of saying I got "emotionally hijacked". That sometimes feeling appear so much faster than thought, yes although I'm a logical-thinking person, I'm not aware my own feelings. The end of the talk teaches us to be mindful, in order to control or manage any situation better so that the personal behavior is much more 'effective' and 'productive' in whatever we do.
The method to manage ourselves is where the 80/20 rule comes in. Many a times, average people spend 80% of their time working to produce 20% result, only a few people would really know how to work only 20% of their time to produce the 80% result that is REALLY what is needed. Do you really need to do all the work that your boss ask you to do? Do you really need to print a stupid interim 600pages report just because the big Tan Sri said "I want to you in my office for 30 minutes". Does a meeting really require 2 holy long hours to accomplish the purpose of the meeting?
According to speaker, a meeting should only be about 45mins max, the rest of the time is crap...
On normal day, you only need about 4-5 hours of WORK, if you work longer than 8hours a day you're actually bluffing or lying to yourself. *exactly I'm blogging now at office hour instead of working*
When I heard that 80/20 technique in being effective (at work or with incovar), I felt like.. gosh that's how these great people do so much with so little TIME! In fact, speaker said you only need to Do "ONE" thing, and hell you better do that "ONE" thing damn bladdy GOOD!
He's hinting to me, I'm doing too many other things, but not doing that ONE thing... *smack smack me...* these words are resonating in my mind... (cos I do incovar, i do bisds, i do unit trust, i do photograpy, i do fixing computers, i do writing, i do things that's not even my thing..)
So HOW do you learn to MANAGE yourself to be effective?
LEARN TO SAY "NO".
*fell off the chair %#^$&^%!$#$%*
Learn to negotiate. Of course if only if I use my brain to THINK and analyse for a moment, WHAT TO DO that is worth doing and add value to myself (and to my work). When I could THINK for the solution, then I should be able to NEGOTIATE (for you to be effective & not do crap).
~*~
Having said all that, I got carried away thinking the Effective Management Training (EMT) 1st session was so much inline with the 28idc whole camp concept! It just dawn on me that our camp can be summed up in 2 words : Emotional Intelligence.
When I look at the quadrant below *grasp!* -->
[Self Awareness ][ Social Awareness ]
[Self Management][ Social Skills ]
I was so 'emotional hijacked' by the session, when he first showed the various function of the brain, where there is a tiny Amygdala is linked to our feelings, instantly Talk 2 debate came to mind -- What defines me? -- "Is it my feelings or my thoughts?" "Do I feel first or do I think first?" "If human have a brain which have a larger portion for thinking-processing, then human should be very rational & logical species... is that so?" "Why do people still get angry or say things that hurt people or simply illogical at times?"
I dont remember how, but Bro. Keek did brought up the Mahayanese aspect of Buddhism which is Metta-Karuna-Mudita-Upekkha inclined which is suitable for people who like to reach out /be socially aware /love others. Where as Theravada emphasis of mindfulness & insight is suitable for people who's more into self awareness/self management. Tibetan Buddhism have both emphasis. *wow Buddhism is like the answer to EQ or vice-versa*
In a nutshell, I felt like I went through the entire 4-day 28IDC through the Emotional Intelligence training! I think speaker tried his best to train us in 3 hour, and I truly learnt something from it. Esp on learn to say no (as the first step) to produce EFFECTIVE 20/80 result. Always use the brain to THINK and analyse, what is effective, to be proactive in thinking & not keep silent / tidak apa / just accept whatever bullshit boss give us to do...
...sei mei....
Can i make bro. keek my mentor?
Hahaha! Suddenly I stumbled upon this...
