is it really miracle?

Again i'm asked to write.. well intially to ask bhante sangahasena to write for the camp magazine. Something about rich people vs poor people. But i know he's sooo busy and probably no time to sit infront of the pc, well not that i'm that free, but i'm running out of touch with writing!

When i wanna write, i need to write there and then, if not my mind will lose track of what i was thinking inside. I wanted to write about why am i so inspired by bhante sanghasena, and what was the cause of the fund raising dinner all about, and why would i bother to take leave to go all the way up north and down south to be co-kapiya for bhanteji.

I was so tired when I reached home at 2am after taking the flight from S'pore.

I don't know what is it that bhanteji got, but when he speaks with his sincere tone of voice, it moves you until your tears also wanna keluar. One ocassion, I asked my parents to join in for a lunch (after coming back from Penang) with bhante at a vegetarian restaurant, there were a couple other friends of sayang who were asked to join in the makan. At the end of makan, bhante chup everybody and gave a speech at the big round makan table! In that short touching speech, he made me and my mom eyes red! All he did was looked into my parents and raised his left hand gestured to me and said "you have good daughter... to have good daugther you must be good parents..."

*ok writing this also my eyes red now*

That's it I couldn't control the water from rolling down my cheeks.. i had to change focus, stare blank at the ceiling, look at the wall, just switch off the mind... I don't know how he do that... but he just did it.

I listened to a couple of talks by him, its inspiring. Of course I didn't cry through his Dhamma talks, but it's really wonderful experience spending time talking with him together with sayang.

A monk with a maha-thera title, asking you for feedback for his talk. Asking you for comment about what he shared, is it good? Is it applicable to the people? Wow.. I thought only incovar camps make big deal about feedback forms. He is so unusually humble!

Once he cracked a joke with me "there are 2 types of 'chief' monks, 1 is chief, 1 is cheap... and i am cheap monk". Then he smile broadly...

I sent him off at the airport.. he walked along with his handcarry bag... I was holding my camera, trying to shoot the last picture I can shoot of him before I don't see him anymore. Everyone else had already turn around to walk towards exit, I was still there at the side watching as he go down the escalator and for a moment he turned back to wave goodbye but everybody already moved on... bhante moved on. I had to control my eyes again... I don't know why.

It is true, that when people have chance to associate with bhante, they will somehow be inspired, not truly inspired.

"Illiteracy and poverty are the biggest enemies of mankind. They must be fought and conquered at any cost. Nothing else gives me more happiness than to see the deprived children blossoming into the light of education and meditation" ~ Venerable Sanghasena.

Bro. Rasika Quek said if these words were spoken by Obama, it will be so powerful.

Right now, I'm excited about being part of the MDL... to be part of this miracle in the making!

The art of giving ~ from whats my point of being

I've been asked to write an article for their Buddhist society magazine, the topic given "Ang Pau : The Art of Giving".


Ok I need to find a way to write, if not for blog, I find it harder to scribble in msword doc. KMH asked me to write something close to my heart... *cham* what I'm all excited now is my wedding! *doh what's with girls and their weddings?! since when I feel like a girl?! well maybe I'm not excited about details like design of the gown or the cut of the ring or the photoshoot at the studio... but I'm excited that I'm even at all getting hitched in spite of being ungirly*

So back to the article *gee.. and i know i'm not a generous person*, I guess I'll write about whats my point of giving and in whatever good intention I may have in my mind, we should give with sincerity or we should have a sincere intention in mind. Sometimes, although we think we're being sincere in giving, somehow we might have subconsciously expect receiver to reciprocate for our good thoughts.

Would you get offended if somebody didn't say thank you after you've given them an angpau? Would you mind if a so-called friend didn't appreciate what you've given to them? Do you expect anything in return when you've faithfully helped somebody?

We've seen all sort of characters, people with different altitudes of sincerity in giving / helping. I must admit, I am one who'd not reached the highest spectrum of being truly sincere in my giving / having good intention towards others. Perhaps I should learn to be mindful, not to be over calculative with matters like 'how much ang pau money you receive from this family, you must give back the same value' or 'a friend treat me to lunch today, I must treat her back another day'.

The more I've been conditioned to think this way, the more insincere in giving I'll be. When I see friends who'd freely donate their money to temples (no matter how little the sum) or friends who'd naturally go forward to pay for the yum-cha / mamak-stall bill, I feel that I have alot more to practise in this art of giving.

Why should I comtemplate 'how much should I donate to the temple?' or 'should I pay for the yum-cha bill?'. In the art of giving, I should wholeheartedly want to donate or give, and to wish that others can benefit from the little amount that I could give.

Perhaps this could be a good new year resolution for me, to put in practise the art of giving. To give with honest sincerity.