Happy Chinese New Year 2011!

This year will be the second year that I'm celebrating CNY as an angpow giver. The most common 'wish' that family members will wish me is 'nin sang kuai ji' meaning wishing that I'll get an offspring soon! The usual way of brushing off the topic is saying the year is 2012 - dragon. And I need do some math - if it take 10 months to deliver a baby, then I'll have to conceive it starting from this year, from May 2010! :) But what if I wish to give birth to a December capricon baby, means I'll have to conceive in Feb 2011? Which means I might be pregnant already when I travel to Europe in Spring 2011 :P doh...

Well I'm the sort of person who goes by "Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail". Everything destination starts with an intention, a wish, a want and then a plan! Horoscopely speaking, a 'rabbit' would be very much compatible with 'goats' like me and sayang. But I just can't have a baby so soon, perhaps mentally we're both not ready and infact we've got a 12-day Hangzhou-Shanghai-Huangshan-Putuoshan trip to fulfil come Sep this rabbit year! The unfortunate part is abang in Shanghai might not be around then, cos he's potentially moving back to Spore... and this is hush hush shhhhhhh cannot tell anyone!!! (don't know some people are so good at not spilling words out too soon so unlike me)

Good news is abang & ahsoh is expecting a baby rabbit girl this year! :) yay a girl for the Wong family! I purposely wish that the baby will be a girl, cause of the idiotic fact that my father-in-law would rather wish to have a second grandson - why son?! Well for convenient sake (due to my busy lifestyle), I thought having a son would save me the hassle of dolling up the kid, but its perfectly alright with me to have a daughter! Even if I were to have only one child and its a girl.

Because of this chauvinistic thinking by my f-i-l, I think I'll want to have a baby dragon girl next year then, just to purposely 'kek' him :P kekekeke... I still don't know why I like to challenge people.

My only brother, my sai-loh is planning to get married! Sometimes I do feel emotional, when it sinks deeper in me, that my sai-loh is really getting married?! Gossh... I used to just whacking him and teasing him and forgot that he's all grown up! Even perhaps my sai-loh will become a new parent sooner than his tai-kai-che. How come my younger brother grow up so fast? He's earning a good living working as a Siemens Engineer, even I don't get hired by Siemens but my less-than-smart sai-loh do. He even got awarded 'best performer staff', like what?!! My sai-loh who used to suck in maths and need me to give him free tuition as he was suffering through his diploma years? Anyway good luck and all the best to my bro and his pretty fiance of his. I hope his future wife will be able to replace my role in the kitchen to help my mom come CNY, cleaning, washing, serving the guest etc!

No wonder my f-i-l is so proud, he got 2 sons and if he were to wish to have more children, he'd probably wish to have all sons! So then he'll get many more daughter-in-laws to help cook in the kitchen!

My m-i-l is one of a kind. If I had a tough time trying to keep up with my mom's mega effort in the kitchen, try help my m-i-l with her asam laksa party feat! Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't ask her to cook asam laksa for our open house... she'll be cutting, cooking, cleaning, serving, washing, replenishing, watching over the fire, stirring, washing, wiping the table, cleaning, arranging the cutlery, repacking, and repeat the steps all over - from dawn till dusk!

Now you see where my sayang get his perfect melancholy syndrome from? From BOTH his parents! I am a ZERO melancholy person. I don't go for details, infact I can't see details like average people do, you can observe that in my photoshots, I hardly zoom in details unless I change to the 50mm lens (that I'll hardly use for event). I can live my putting all the dirty dish all into the big sink and let it pile up until its too high, THEN one shot wash all up - save water & washing detergent! But for the Wong family? Cannot. EVERY single plate or spoon or chopsticks that comes near the sink will be cleansed with detergent (whether oily or not, even if its a glass which only contained plain water) thoroughly.

Oh while washing repeatedly, the table cloths will be rinsed just as many times to wipe the kitchen top. Can't we just save a bit of water by not being that OCD? No I can't ever give this silly suggestion, or else I'll be doomed, as the lousy daughter-in-law who not only intentionally postpone her getting pregnant, but is messy and dirty!

M-i-l taught me how to use detergent to rinse the table cloth, so that when we wipe the kitchen counter top, it will smell with fragrance. Yes true - but i can't imagine if I put a bread / food stuff on the table (layered with detergent) and then put it back into my mouth. Anyway, just listen obidiently and nod my head. The difference between helping my in-laws vs helping my own mother in the kitchen, is I get 'shut up, listen & follow'. With my mom, I'll talk back & get on my mother's nerves - which may not be a good thing.

On 1st day of CNY when I had a quick visit to my maiden home, I had to hold back my tears upon seeing the glee revealed on my parents face when they saw me after missing me for days! Or was it the other way round, I was missing them for 3 days!

Anyway, on the note about giving angpow, this year I don't have to give double, just one angpow, it was natural to give out angpow to whoever that I'm supposed to give, even to other little stranger unmarried people, well its just RM4 inside, don't think anyone would receive angpow value lower than what I could wrap?! :D For me and sayang, our network of people we know can be very wide, so for us to give high-value angpow (or bak kum) to all the people we know, could be impractical. So for us (or for me in particular), give less give more - quantity equals quality!

I don't have big wish for this rabbit year, except just wish for good health and to receive expected bonus in March. Good news is that for this year, the industry dealing with 'wood' and 'metal' element will be very good - bank is money is metal!

For my friends and family, esp those who'd invested under me before, I really wish that they're global funds investment will bouce back la!

to be happy or not to be happy for her? and why not?

i hope when i blog about people, nobody will read my blog. who do i wanna blog about now? just a girl who lived an extraordinary life than mine. so why am i so narrow-minded, not feeling excited to receive her with my open arms and don't feel genuinely happy for her as she return to her home country?

she reminded me of this feeling i had with my estranged best-friend many years ago. the love-hate type of feeling, the feeling is not a happy one. its like i don't truly feel happy for them, and i find it hard to understand why i have this feeling.

so i ask myself is it because of i feel envy? you know they're supposed to be your friend, and you're supposed to be happy for your friend whatever mega-life-changing decision your friend may choose. deep down inside me, i'm not 100% truly happy for them, and i wonder why.

say if i meet her, what do i say? "hey you're back! i'm so happy for you!"
or "hey you're back! i'm not exactly happy for you!"

maybe i could just keep to myself and don't bother speaking up my mind, continue resort to my wonderment.

maybe its the envy feeling, but i thought i believed i have a bigger heart than to let envy drawn out my metta/karuna/mudita/upekkha. maybe its my ego, i think my way of thinking is better/holier than thou, thus feeling more sorry than happy for people. maybe time will tell if they are indeed truly happy with their drastic life choices, happy from what people can see outside & yet gratified inside.

when time has proven that their mind-boggling life-changing decision is indeed the wise path... then its for theirs to keep. not for me to question. i shall just try to be kind with my words for now.

有命去，没有命回来。

有命去，没有命回来。At first I didn't believe the sms that sayang received, but I saw charlie sir online. If it is true... charlie sir must be devastated. I don't know what to say, to verify the news, I msg him. It's true. It's even in the Bernama news online.

I last smiled and had a quick chat with sis. Julie Ang at SABS on 15-Aug. Even sis. GG Tan was there, but I didn't go up to her to intro myself. It was told that sis. GG Tan is the organiser for the Dama Orchestra fund raising show to be held on 10-Oct at klpac. I wanted to approach her to inquire about klpac, perhaps a probable venue for igemz launch.

I'm not 100% sure if that was her... somebody pointed out to me "nehhh that's her!"

As for sis. Julie Ang, I joked about getting a Bali package quote from her (for my honeymoon right after my wedding in Jan next year). She's always cheerful, funny and smiling.

She was a very "yau yeng" helpful and kind person. She's very close assistant to rev saranankara. She helped run an old folks home. She's a great cook although I've not have the chance to taste her glamour food. She'd belanja me and my other co-mdl secretary a very nice fish-noodle lunch. She's also a teochew lady, like me.

She trusted me to be "jaga" for the 15-member travel group to Ladakh in Autumn 2008, as she couldn't join us due to financial constraint. She finally saved enough to go on her first trip with bro charlie (and now its also her last trip) to Ladakh leading 38 other people. This time she's the yau-yeng "jaga"...having to settle everything for everyone, including the visas, the payment, the booking, the excess luggages, the fun, the assurance, the (10-seater-van) driver.

1/6/2009 - Sis Julie helped bhante Sanghasena to check-in for his departure back to India. *me & bhante nagasena taking the picture*

27/9/2008 - I took this picture at klia before we depart for Delhi. Sis Julie (in yellow) came to 'check-in' for all of us.

2007 - BISDS students giving donation to sis Julie for the Old Folks Home.

...when your keys are locked inside - what would you do?

Before I start talking about my good CNY (last CNY being single, spending time with my folks all the way)... I need to pen down, what my deaf/mute friend Nancy did -- out of this world -- she taekwando kicked her wooden door after she'd locked her key inside her room! Then she stretch her tiny arms through the broken wooden pieces to reach for the knob from the inside to unlock the door! *I grabbed these pic from her blog*

Poor thing... you know, it's just amazing what special people can do. Any normal person would have just taken a card to slide through the side of the knob to try to unlock it, like what a thief would do. In fact me and my collegemate did that when we forgot to bring our keys out. Why could she karate kick to destroy her door?! I feel paiseh for having to rush her, that's how she left her keys behind when try to meet me in a rush. Special people have special methods of solving problems. They're also very sensitive towards the physical surrounding.

Infact when we were having dinner at a big hawker-stalls food court in Penang, I wanted to go to the toilet, I wrote it on paper that I wanted to go to toilet, she wanted to go too.. we stood up, I gestured that I don't know where is the toilet, she turned her one half a round, and she SAW it! The toilet sign was so distant away...

Her arms must be painful, having being injured... but you'll never know if she's in pain. We communicate through messaging on hp (without sending but showing) or writing on paper. I actually got dizzy when I was 'communicating' with her while driving on unfamiliar roads! *panadol rescued*

Blah blah blah...

At first I found out that my form 3 cousin has her own blog, today I found out my other form 1 cousin sister's blog lagi chun! What is the future if without cyberworld for the youngsters!

I'm already contemplating of making use of the internet / laptop / multimedia to teach the teenage orientation class for next year (for my Sunday school). I cannot tahan seeing myself standing infront of the class holding a textbook or something and trying to pretend to be like a teacher. I think I can relate to being a facilitator or a funny jie-jie who can inspire, rather than one who can stand there to teach / waste my saliva.

Oh talking about saliva and talking... I came to ask myself - if given a choice to go for lunch with a bunch of people who gossip or idle talk, or makan sendiri - which would I choose? I think I'm going for the latter. Its like if I were to have to talk about other people, better save my saliva. Does this make me anti-social? I'm not sure... some people can view me as talkative, yet sometimes I just don't like to talk (not like to listen altogether).

Today I had lunch by myself at pizzahut at Maju junction! How cool is that... wished I had a funky cool cellphone to play with, but nvm I had a pen & rough paper to scribble. The rest of the ladies went for Publisher training. Yeahh.. ultra doh. Why don't they ask me to teach them Illustrator leh! LoL, don't try to be funny. Today one tech-server-guy came over to try to help me with my app crash problem.. he joked that I shouldn't consult my teamlead who don't know computers... "so when you put a person who speak canggih english + a person who dunno computer, what do you get? cannot lah!!" *conversation was in mandarin*

I'm beginning to imagine, that when time comes for appraisal/review, I might wanna ask for switch to the technical-server team... more challenging mah! In here, people don't need to be certified, just engage vendor and bang wall troubleshoot. Here the culture is not so into tai-chi, but trying to fix the problem together with vendor with whatever limited knowledge... worst case is kena scolding - that's all.

It's nice to know that... working in bank... you cannot get fired so easily. So even there's this weird very big size lady who cannot perform/ with attitude problem... still gets sent for training, and given minor task to do! You know contrarary to what other colleagues will bitch about this fat lady, I don't have negative thoughts towards here. She's not done me any harm (yet). I'm not sure if this is gonna be a repeat of my weird primary school life... that I always try to defend the unpopular girl... hmmm will see how it goes. Not many girls will understand what its like being truly overweight, being avoided/scared by people, being not-smart-enough, being singled out. I know it will be very easy for me to make her day.

Metta to all! Wishing sayang will be able to make his trip back to Malaysia successfully without much trouble ;( He's got a major flower job to do this weekend neh!

1 wedding & 2 funerals

I wanted to share about my interesting experience over the weekend. I try very much not to tell people that we attended a wake before and after a wedding in Melaka. Cos people may 'pantang'... but I guess being Buddhist, there's nothing to 'pantang' about.

The morning religious wedding ceremony was quite symbolic, with puja + chanting + hymn singing & blessing by a monk. Only a little weird cos everyone else had to stand up through out the whole ceremony including the monk except the bride & groom... Doh! So being restless, I'll walk around trying to take pictures lah... was trying out the new 50mm lense which is a problem if I try to compete with other fellow photographers all blocking my view while shooting for an 'event'. Maybe it's really meant for object/model shooting purpose only.

After the religious & tea ceremony, there's a long afternoon break to spend time before going for the wedding dinner. So me, myee & sisV tag along to ddvw's dad wake, which is actually not far away. Coincidently rev. Mahinda coming at 2pm for blessing... which turn out to be a blessing + meditation + short Dhamma talk... fuiyo that's very meaningful for a Buddhist wake / funeral. No chang chang noise, no crying, no sadness... just smiles and reflections. Rev Mahinda shared about his experience teaching Dhamma to his mother and how his mom practised the Dhamma, how she overcome the pain while suffering from cancer before her passing. Also talked about sharing of merits.

I came dressed in a dress white+black in colour, so it was fancy enough for a wedding event, also sombre enough for the wake. Bf dressed in blue+brown, while sisV attire was blue+white... so we were like ever ready to attend both wedding & funeral!

At night the wedding dinner was most fun! It was sort of a peranakan wedding, a peranakan wedding must have music/band and joget! That's what I heard from MODians... and wow it is true. It didn't take long before I was also part of the syiok-sendiri people tapping their shoes happily at the parquet dance platform... at some point, I was 'dancing' with NW's 2yo kid... yeah the boy can be really cute when you forget that he's naughty. He kept coming back to pull me out from my chair to go the dance floor! It's like he's done it before in his past life... I didn't dress in the nyonya kebaya unlike many of the locals there. Found out that the nyonya kebaya blouse is EXPENSIVE!

Many people danced along at the wedding dinner, to golden oldies played with e-keyboard that you'll never hear it at a trendy KL/PJ hotel wedding dinner. The fun part is how the very young and the very old all came together to dance naturally! Only the not-so-young-but-not-so-old people watching ;)

I felt like I'm attending a 'Malaysian' wedding dinner of the Tunku Abdul Rahman era. They say baba-nyonya people is actually a minority group in Melaka, they're neither chinese nor malay.... maybe they're just Malaysian!

So what happen to the 2nd funeral? Well that's the boy who stayed along the same street as me.. whose funeral is also Sunday. By the time I reach home from Melaka, it was almost 11am... and Myee made the turn from the main road to my house, which incidently head-on with the hearse. That's my last chance to send metta to the deceased... his family members were lining up ready to 'send' him off.

My eyes instantly went wet.

As I reached home, I came to know that he was only diagnosed with leukaemia a month ago. He had a girlfriend of 2 years. His medical bills surged to 100k.

My interesting weekend taught me a great learning experience and there's alot of Dhamma in it. I was happy and contended. I hope I can maintain this simple blissful state of mind through out my journey of life, but impermanence is the truth of life.

*can you imagine that at my funeral, all my incovar friends will be standing around singing cheerfully 'Truth of Life' with hands movements & actions... and all my relatives / other friends will look at you one kind - you siow ah?*

NKOTB Reunion!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! *hyperventilating* Is this true? Is it true?! AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! You might not this, but I was... no I AM proudly a New Kids on the Block die-hard fan! I still have not met them real life in person *garrrrhhhh* the closest I got to meeting Joey Mcintyre was when he was supposed to come to Malaysia to promote 'Stay the Same' and I won the "meet Joey Mcintyre" press conf pass through Hitz.fm and my ex-housemate was also so excited for me (think I was freshman in UPM).... but in the end his tour to Malaysia was cancelled abruptly on the last minute!! But he was in Spore!! And my icq buddy Stew (a guy who doesn't know much abt Joey Mac) actually went to see him!!! Urrrgghhhhh... And that also because I was soooo hyped up abt his visit to S.E.A that Stew went to see Joey Mcintyre in the flesh!!! Oh boy... Stew said "he has so intensed eyes" ...you said it right.

2008 Reunion
On April 3, 2008, Donnie Wahlberg told CNN that the band had reunited, and were recording an album of new material, and was planning to tour.[5] The producer RedOne previewed several tracks for a Boston Globe interviewer later that month; some of the song titles on the new album include "Click Click Click" featuring Nasri (who is the producer, along with Hakim AbdulSamad and Adam Messinger, of the original and the NKOTB rendition), "Close to You", "Looking Like Danger", "Big Boy/Big Girl" featuring Lady GaGa, and "Summertime".[6] They're also working on a song for the new album called "Full Service" which will feature New Edition. [1] Some other song titles "Two in The Morning", "Single" and "Dirty Dancing". [1]

"Summertime" (2008)
In May 2008, the group released "Summertime", as a downloadable single on various online digital music services. They also posted the tune on their MySpace page. The new album, according to Billboard magazine, was not expected until the fall.[7] The song immediately turned up on several radio stations, including WXKS-FM (Kiss 108) in their home city of Boston, Massachusetts. It received 114 spins across two formats (CHR/Pop and Hot AC) in its first day.[8][9] A music video for "Summertime" was shot on May 9, 2008. [10]
The group had their first reunited performance at the House of Blues in Los Angeles, California on May 13, 2008. A video of the performance was released and stated that people who attended the performance are the "first to witness".
The group performed a medley of their hits and their new song "Summertime" live on Today on May 16, 2008. The performance attracted one of the biggest crowds, some 4,000 people, in the show's concert series history. [11][12] They also appeared on May 17 and 18 at two annual showcases put on by local radio stations in the New York/New Jersey/Connecticut and Boston markets. (They shared the stage at both shows with The Jonas Brothers.) [13] [14]
On Sunday, June 15, 2008, the group performed live on the 2008 MuchMusic Video Awards, filmed on outdoor stages in downtown Toronto, ON.[15]
According to the band's web site, the reunion tour will kick off at Toronto's Air Canada Centre on September 18, 2008. [16] UK singer Natasha Bedingfield has recently signed on to become the opening act on the tour across the country.

My busy weekend

Out of my whole weekend which includes a yoga, a revelation meeting, 1 fellowship dinner, 1 bday dinner, 1 poolside party, 1 movie outing, 1 sunday school, 2 lunches...

Yes, I am rather sleepy now. I couldn't even wakeup biologically this morning.

What's coming up next? 1 post-mortem meeting, 1 rtm meeting, settle the volunteers for WIFF (under BGF), settle the signage for WIFF for Sat morning, think of when to replace 3 yoga lessions, settle the sunsch newsletter articles... all before I fly off to Borobudor next Tuesday? (I haven't even mention about my work stuff).

Notably, the poolside party looked fun esp for the SS guys who dunked themselves into the pool shirtless. I cannot imagine myself being flung into the pool by people... almost got 'carried' by my UPM guy-coursemates at Redang.. but I surely would not allow that to happen. It's so not me. Oh not because I can't swim, I must wear swimsuit and springboard jump into the pool by myself - thank you.



Bday party -- for Tym at Good Evening Bangkok -- the food was soooooo spicy I could gulp the whole swimming pool of icy cold water! But that won't help... I forgot abt 'sugar', all I could do was just leave my jaws open and taaahaaannnnnn..... I "chewed" pedas green cili-padi thinking it's chopped green leaf. Although I still like Thai food, very unique. *reminiscence of Ayuthaya laksa*

(so terrible picture, how to forgive the waiter?!)

(atleast somebody know how to hold the camera properly)


"Kungfu Panda" was nice & so Dhamma :) you could almost repeat after master Oogway "the past is history, the future is a mystery, the present is a gift - that's why its called the present." Alot of Dhamma about 'hunger' and 'desire'... being happy with yourself. Definitely my Sunday Dhamma school can use this cartoon video in the library to teach the kids.

Out of all the happenings for me over the weekend, what I loved most, or what I really felt 'at peace' most was the outcome of the revelation meeting accompanied by sayang. Not to be shared here.

What I could share here though was the solution for the Sban twin's problematic friend, I took the liberty to get the girl's pat-ji to seek help on Sban twin's behalf (they're very caring towards their friend). What I found out is that, the problem girl couldn't help herself, she needs the warmth guidance from her friends *yeah me included although I really wish I'm not involved* to lead her back to the worldly path filled with love. The girl's mind is now very deluded, even medication might not help her fully. I thought : why do I have to help her? Is it our karma? The answer : it is not your karma, it is your opportunity to help a friend in need.

Ok finish crapping. Must focus my mind at work, focus to complete all the task in my mind. Not get agitated by s****d people.

Make Time

Here's a quick sharing I would like to highlight to all who's reading this... (seriously don't know how many is reading).

This morning when I was all ready, waiting for time to pass, suddenly they told me to join in the "Interaction" session which I thought was some 'games' to play. Oh boy I was wrong, it was an inter-group sharing session and mostly were the performers of the eob4 night before. I was there to rep incovar, and that too not all of my members were there... until the end it was just me and Ev. The thing that strucked me, was what bro. OKL narrated...

He was in hospital bedridden for 2 months, and somebody asked him "how do you kill time?" He was so taken aback by that question, he really wondered why such a person would ask such a question, and esp for him, he wouldn't wanna 'kill' time!? He felt that he should "make" time even more so because of the Dhamma. *you kill time, you die faster; you make time, you live longer*

With that, he thanked everyone who esp "made" time to come and put in all the effort in making last night event a success. He also dedicated his thanks to bro Ced beside him, who painstakingly drove back & forth (having working in KL) to Melaka every weekend to coach the children. And he too have to find time and make time to practise for his performance.

Then I thought of so many other people... *ahem* that have excuse or reason for not making time. Even for my own members or even for my own life... I wish to complete that minutes that I've yet to write for last 2 camp mtg but I couldn't 'make' time. I always tend to drift off to 'forget' mode after letting time slip pass me. I've yet to make time to e-file my income tax.

No time to do many things that we could do with INCOVAR or for the youth / Buddhist community. No time to organise my sun sch pj-zone gathering. The list goes on for me & for you...

There, I was in the Interaction, listening to sharing by KK group where the members are only a few, but they make time, together with own family members, to run their choir and sunday school. They even produced their own CD with their very limited resources.

Bodhi is a mandarin based music group. They presented songs that were very 'modern' and contemporary that would appeal to any youths. I certainly think they deserve the premiership recognition in energy level, contempory approach to reaching out to youths and Dhamma propogation. They even perform their puja through MUSIC! Yes not chanting... they composed it themselves. *hand clasp*

Spore KMSPKS group as expected, shared about their major post-Wesak big scale Gratitude mix-pop-Buddhist concert. Ready with contempory-designed brochures and postcards that hopefully would appeal to youths in Spore. They have a bigger challenge - the swamped by evangelism.

I guess... while blogging this... I'm beginning to see the readiness and appeal of incovar-concept that have the be the potential to spearhead Dhamma proprogration to youths.

The future will be more bilingual than just english-speaking or mandarin-speaking. It's very unfortunate for any Chinese to ignore Chinese-language, and it's a defect for any Malaysian not to use English.

How different is everybody's mindset? We're all Malaysians who enjoying music and singing and having fun.... no matter if we're from north, south or central region... no matter if we're young or old... no matter if we're newbie or experienced in the knowledge. Dhamma ultimately will be understood and be helpful to all beings.

..where was I....?... hmm... incovar... premier... inspiring...contemporary... I'd love to walk the talk, to be part of the synergy & the team to make it possible.

How to "make" time?

A weird self boast read ~ I am one lucky girl

I think this post is gonna be about how I should be really thankful and why I feel so 幸富. I just thought about myself as a person who can understand things (easily) and I just know of a girl who really cannot understand & see things clearly.

There was a simple sms I received from my buddy sunday school friend who asked about traditional medicine for cancer in KL. It is for her mom who's got breast cancer. I just thought how lucky my parents are... and how fortunate I am that I don't have to worry about my parents health *touchwood*. My dad smoke so much and never exercise and his belly is like 9 months pregnant, but his worst pain is "leg pain" which he'll recover in few days.

I'm also thankful that both my parents are very kind and understanding people that I could be proud of. There's another buddy sunday school pal whose very disappointed and definitely not proud of her dad. I've never had that thought before to be not proud of our parent. I'm so lucky to born into such wonderful parents that I'll never feel sorry for parents. My friend's dad is such a loser even I wish I can try to help or change him, but according to my friend its impossible.

How karma really works? Of course I have many friends who are like me, who have wonderful parents, great social life and big positive attitude towards life! It's true when some people say I seems to have nothing to worry about, and I'm such a happy-go-lucky person.

I think maybe its a whole cycle of giving and receiving. For me to be receiving the merits and blessings of my peaceful happy family, I should in turn continue my own purpose of life. To live a purposeful life, and to help people.

From finding out for people what's the latest fund price of certain fund... to telling you what sort of insurance policy you should need (if you didn't already know)... to bringing my aunty to go shopping with her kids... to doing camp feedback forms (although I really don't have to!)... to buying tickets... to listening to a mentally handicapped girl rant... to arranging things... to covering other colleagues... to just being there to assure you life is good!

I'm short of words now. My mind went off abit thinking what if I could become a nun now (cos I was sitting in the same table with 2 nuns from FGS during the bmsm dinner & they're very humble, caring & nice). What if I could just really let go of things and join a 10-days no-joker mind-silencer retreat? Suddenly a thought came by -- am I afraid of letting go of all the goodness and nice things in my life?

What if I try to live a day without any purpose...

Don't cry for me, Malaysia!

I would have become a political activist, if all you need is alot of passion and belief of what you truly believe in, then I'd really become one. To become somebody to take on the fight, the fight for people to see for themselves what this country truly means to them. Why can't they see it? (at the back of my mind, I really pity all the rural voters in this country who's putting them all in the house)

What about my own big town PJ where city-folks are supposed to be more aware of what's happening. Why hasn't it changed? Suddenly I have a thought that miss Chew accident is also part of the prophecy! Now everybody pity her. Even I feel so sorry for her, she's still in the hospital in Kuantan (she's gonna get more sympathy vote than wisdom vote for DAP). But I never voted for her and I wish to tell everyone not to vote for her, not because she's not nice and kindhearted, but because she's not representing your VOICE! You are screaming and shouting and crying... but nobody is standing up for what you want to say.

The law is ammended just like that.

They send them to ISA just like that.

But maybe, it is only me who is screaming and getting angry inside. From the Buddhist perspective -- it is supposed to be me that made me angry. I still can't tell WHY am I angry, why do I feel like shooting people who are ignorant of the policies & never care to find out .......

IS that it? People generally do not want to find out what's there to fight for. People do not want to rock the boat to keep life just the way it is. People do not like to progress further to be like other developed countries. People like to complain but do not want to change things.

I guess I can sum up my frustration over 2 types of people:
i) the truly ignorant group who's lowly educated who's thankful & happy for having little money in their pocket.
ii) the highly educated people who could have just find out more about what's truly happening & make that change but didn't bother.

I once cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet

Before I take the time to blog about the 'yeo-ah-yeo wonderful camp', I wish pen this down to remind myself, that each time when faced with adversity esp in my worklife -- be humble. I had this opportunity to meet up with a brave young girl suffering from celebral palsy, a USM graduate and a finalist for a reality-tv show on tv9 for disabled people in the country. She's currently teaching computer-skills to children at the Penang Spastic Centre.

I felt so overwhelmed when she told me that she was from the Science stream in her STPM. Something which I didnt do. I'll never know how difficult STPM science stream is like, for I was so 'lucky' to get into a degree course thru a 1-year diploma (way too inferior for STPM standard).

She graduated with a degree in social science, and she can speak fluent English very slowly. She takes her time to walk and write. Mentally she's just like any other young lady who have goals in life and have wishes waiting to be realised.

When I first met her at the hotel room where she was staying (Sunday night), she was alone. As she opened the door and tried to step back she almost lost her balance. It was the first time I saw her and I felt a lil silly myself for not understanding a disabled person better.

When I arrived at the lobby, I called her to come down to go for a drink but she talked me into coming up to the room first. Only after meeting her for the first time did I realise how foolish I was: for her to walk all the way from her room to the lift, and press the button by herself, and coming out from the lift slowly and walking all the way through the lobby hall.... its gonna be very challenging for her. Anyway, I didn't ask further about going out for a drink, just being there in the hotel room and getting to know her better... has impacted my attitude towards life (for the time being.. until I lose my memory of this rare moment).

I've always being a spoilt only daughter, I yell at my dad and argue with mom at home. I conveniently get other people to do things for me even for the simplest thing like getting a ribena to drink. I'm not disable and I do not have a speech problem but I took things for granted. I complain that I have 'siu-yan' at work and I never send any love towards my colleagues.

I must be humble. If I were to speak like a God-believer I'd say that God created a few special people on this earth to touch our heart and to teach us to be grateful, caring and happy.

Meeting Dato' Tony Fernandez

Hmm.. no photo to show, cos didn't bring my camera along. Why? cos its bulky and i'm not a big fan snapping picture of human. (Lagi the man is not so lengchai also :P)

The title of the meet-the-man session was "Dream a little dream" and that motivated sayang to go! And I just tag along without anticipating for anything. Cos I'm not allowed to ask him when is he going to 'refund' my cancellation of KT-KL flight fare.

My question written on the paper for him was "Are you a spiritual person?" and he replied "of course not!". Well then he said he's born and raised a roman catholic, but he's not such a believer and not so much a non-believer.. yeahhh..hhhhhhhuu

Then whole talk he said so many times hhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so much so it's very FUNNY. Imagine a CEO of a company talks so funnily, with the uncontrolled hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I didn't get much from the talk, cos I don't have a big dream like him. In fact I don't think what he referred to (low cost airline business startup) was his own DREAM, maybe he dreams about becoming his own boss of a big multimillion dollar business... but the AirAsia is not his dream!

He is a daring risk taker. He DARED to go for it. And THAT's what sets him apart from every other people living on this Malaysian soil. For THAT my salute to him. He's got nothing to lose to risk to TRY what he thought was a great business model.

Now that's an inspiring entrepreneur. He had zero knowledge about airline industry, he's a musician and he hates accounting. I guess he's got lotsa guts and faith and determination to see through his vision and mission to do something. Not forgetting, I think he is very intelligent. Somebody who knows how to think and knows that his idea for sure is a brilliant idea that will sure work!

Some consider him as "lucky". Maybe there are other smart & brilliant aspiring entrepreneur out there who knows that their idea will be a great business, but may not have the opportunity to meet with like-minded partners who'd risk their house for you, or who have the cable connection.

In Malaysia, anything is possible. Everything imaginable is possible. Your imagination is your limit! What can happen to your idea can go beyond imagination!

So there, I had the opportunity to listen to the man himself, Dato' Tony Fernandez who wasn't the god son of AK he wished he was.

Here I am admiring and revering a successful Malaysian reknown entrepreneur...
There I am not challenging and motiviting myself to be like one.

Oh such choleric-phlegmatic contradiction in me!