Upekkha. I try my best not to expect anything in return, esp from the person that I signed my life to, the father of my 2 kids. I'm getting so damn tired these days, I'm pretty darn sure if its due to my age as I've reached 40 already or maybe I was tired from the almost 2-day of diarrhea (ah aloe vera i can't eat but I can't make it stick it to my head).
Yet even when I'm tired, I remind myself NOT to request or ask him to help out, as I know full darn well it will trigger an irritation in him. He is like the species, the descendant of his father....
I always envision at my funeral, how I don't need to ask him to do anything, he don't need to lift a finger and then complain that I asked him to do this or do that. I was thinking of asking Aaron Lee be the event manager for my funeral, since he did a fine job at our wedding at Rahsia. Cos I was hoping to have some Buddhist hymn singing session / performance if not by i.gemz then by Aaron's choir gang. Also if there a good English speaking shifu, can ask shifu to conduct a short meditation / reflection on death, as the dead body is there for people to see. Meanwhile the MC should be someone who is close to me, don't really need to employ some service provider. I know full darn well I will lotsa people coming up give their eulogy about me.
The aging population is ever growing, last time people to used to die in their 50's or 60s', if you live up to 70's you're very good! Now days? Heck my grandma is already 90 and still very alert, alive and well only deaf. And the senior citizens around me, they are getting older, with all sort of bodily aches and health problems but not terminal. As my generation of people don't give birth early in life, as I'm 40 now, my daughter is only 2 years of age still struggling to talk!
I have to think about my children's future in 10-15 years time, and I'm also concern about my own parents health, they're now 67 and 74 in this new year 2020. My mil will be 71 and my fil will soon turn 78. I see that my generation of people, have this heavy burden to shoulder as they are getting more senior mgr position in the offices, they have their children as well as aging parents to take care off.
What is this 'door-left-open-not-close' hullabaloo that my so-called husband want to shout at me for? When I don't even remember touch the door knob? I just go about my daily life, like a zombie, trying to getting everything done (and still feel like that's 1001 things still left to do). If you can't play catch up with me in doing things and getting things done, don't be bully. Learn to have Mudita.
I dread to see when the x'mas tree comes back, and the whole under-the-stairs area so filled with even more stuff, and all the stuff that attract even more mosquitoes. You know the saying, when you don't want the ants to come then you don't leave sweet/sugary stuff around to attract the ants. Not bark on the wrong tree, ask why the door is not closed! Even if there is a mosquito so WHAT? will you die? Is it more important to have a peaceful sleep without mosquito bite or be kind to your own beloved wife? Your wife has never had a peaceful uninterrupted sleep every since I was few months pregnant with my Aira.... *you know the night pee spree when pregnant, and then ever so tiring and painful breastfeeding journey that lasted nearly 20 months, and then the endless bottled-nen-nen request btwn 1am - 5am* what's a mosquito bite for one night?!!!!!
For heaven sake, please universe turn him into a women next life let him suffer and have no chance to whine to his future 'husband' who doesn't know how be loving.
I'm always contemplating on giving up on this partnership. Why do I have to silently endure this ~!$_+*&*^%$#@!%^ life is very fragile. All you need, is for you to open up your heart & mind sincerely, and to care for your surrounding. When a child is trying to get up from her child seat and looks like she is going to fall.... DON'T EXPECT THE MOTHER TO ALWAYS BE THERE TO CATCH THE CHILD/FEED THE CHILD/ CARRY / BATH / READ / PACK THE BAG / ..... ! YOU AS FATHER CAN DO IT TOO WITHOUT BEING ASKED!
If I don't ask you don't do, no wonder you didn't want to have a child in the first place! Great serve me right! I shall continue suffer and die faster... yeah maybe I should just go die faster. AND THAT will maybe perhaps TRIGGER to RASA / FEEL it what's it like to be in my shoe.
Yet even when I'm tired, I remind myself NOT to request or ask him to help out, as I know full darn well it will trigger an irritation in him. He is like the species, the descendant of his father....
I always envision at my funeral, how I don't need to ask him to do anything, he don't need to lift a finger and then complain that I asked him to do this or do that. I was thinking of asking Aaron Lee be the event manager for my funeral, since he did a fine job at our wedding at Rahsia. Cos I was hoping to have some Buddhist hymn singing session / performance if not by i.gemz then by Aaron's choir gang. Also if there a good English speaking shifu, can ask shifu to conduct a short meditation / reflection on death, as the dead body is there for people to see. Meanwhile the MC should be someone who is close to me, don't really need to employ some service provider. I know full darn well I will lotsa people coming up give their eulogy about me.
The aging population is ever growing, last time people to used to die in their 50's or 60s', if you live up to 70's you're very good! Now days? Heck my grandma is already 90 and still very alert, alive and well only deaf. And the senior citizens around me, they are getting older, with all sort of bodily aches and health problems but not terminal. As my generation of people don't give birth early in life, as I'm 40 now, my daughter is only 2 years of age still struggling to talk!
I have to think about my children's future in 10-15 years time, and I'm also concern about my own parents health, they're now 67 and 74 in this new year 2020. My mil will be 71 and my fil will soon turn 78. I see that my generation of people, have this heavy burden to shoulder as they are getting more senior mgr position in the offices, they have their children as well as aging parents to take care off.
What is this 'door-left-open-not-close' hullabaloo that my so-called husband want to shout at me for? When I don't even remember touch the door knob? I just go about my daily life, like a zombie, trying to getting everything done (and still feel like that's 1001 things still left to do). If you can't play catch up with me in doing things and getting things done, don't be bully. Learn to have Mudita.
I dread to see when the x'mas tree comes back, and the whole under-the-stairs area so filled with even more stuff, and all the stuff that attract even more mosquitoes. You know the saying, when you don't want the ants to come then you don't leave sweet/sugary stuff around to attract the ants. Not bark on the wrong tree, ask why the door is not closed! Even if there is a mosquito so WHAT? will you die? Is it more important to have a peaceful sleep without mosquito bite or be kind to your own beloved wife? Your wife has never had a peaceful uninterrupted sleep every since I was few months pregnant with my Aira.... *you know the night pee spree when pregnant, and then ever so tiring and painful breastfeeding journey that lasted nearly 20 months, and then the endless bottled-nen-nen request btwn 1am - 5am* what's a mosquito bite for one night?!!!!!
For heaven sake, please universe turn him into a women next life let him suffer and have no chance to whine to his future 'husband' who doesn't know how be loving.
I'm always contemplating on giving up on this partnership. Why do I have to silently endure this ~!$_+*&*^%$#@!%^ life is very fragile. All you need, is for you to open up your heart & mind sincerely, and to care for your surrounding. When a child is trying to get up from her child seat and looks like she is going to fall.... DON'T EXPECT THE MOTHER TO ALWAYS BE THERE TO CATCH THE CHILD/FEED THE CHILD/ CARRY / BATH / READ / PACK THE BAG / ..... ! YOU AS FATHER CAN DO IT TOO WITHOUT BEING ASKED!
If I don't ask you don't do, no wonder you didn't want to have a child in the first place! Great serve me right! I shall continue suffer and die faster... yeah maybe I should just go die faster. AND THAT will maybe perhaps TRIGGER to RASA / FEEL it what's it like to be in my shoe.
