mind blank

yes, nothing better to write, why not dun write. C'mon dun be so lazy, just go get bath and rest for the night!

hmm.. lets see. The website needs to be updated, to allow people to visit to gather information.

The stupid banner needs to be edited, now with additional 'words' in Chinese, where I cant read 100% of it, so need help from people to "read" the word, although I knew hanyupinyin very well. But you cant type a Chinese word out without knowing how to 'pronounce' it. Ish...

I didn't agree to do the banner, I was just being 'told' to do the banner, nobody even ask "can you do the banner?". All I get is "Dear MJ, the banner is supposed be xxx yyy zzzz.... ". Next email "so have you done the banner when can you send it?".

Oh yeah, there's another 'event' happening in temple, as reluctant as I am to help, nobody can really understand why. It's gonna be another fundraising event, to glamourize Saruman. So 'fundraising' coming from everywhere, are these ordinary people really so generous?

Wait a minute, did I note down about this agent-training that I have go on Saturday afternoon. Sunday morning class, I plan to just teach my students (yeah mj become teacher, still sound funny to me) to sing some new songs with minus 1. Sunday afternoon organise this website TOT in Cheras.

Sleep not that I'm deprived of it, just that my head is really spinning now at this point. I think by staring at the monitor for so long hours, thinking and working and chatting and writing...

My job is pretty simple but the 'people' are really difficult. I think there's opportunity to learn how to handle people more than how to handle technical problem. How on earth can the service provide agree with 100% SLA to client? The impact is for my team to keep operating and ensuring no fault can happen and there is no room, no chance for 0.1% of error?! This not-logical. Why are corporate business big fish trying to outplay each other. How much more hardwork do I want to put in, to cover up for someone else's arse. Covering for who also I dont know. Work so hard for what also dont know, cos I never aim for excellence anyway. Just "good" is enough to me. Trying to be "good" also susah if we keep dealing with s****d people.

No wonder, sometimes it make sense, to pretend stupid. You do your work, dont try to get smart, the world will not stop spinning. Life become so easy, if you'd just say "I dont know" and shrug your shoulder off all headache.

Ok, let me put my head down.

wuliao is as wuliao does

before u check out this meme, maybe you'd like to read what stupid is as stupid does. feeling so stupid now this is during lunch time.

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4 jobs you've had in your life:

- sunday school teacher/staff
- freelance helper/volunteer/photographer/websitemaker/designer/editor
- system engineer
- receptionist cum clerk

4 movies you could watch over and over:
– LOTR 1
– LOTR 2
– LOTR 3
– The Matrix

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch:

- Whose Line Is It Anyway (oh i miss this show soooooooooooo much!)
- Ally Mcbeal (sob*sob* its over)
- FRIENDS (sob*sob*.. ok 10 season enough already)
- American / Malaysian Idol

4 places you've lived:

- PJ SS1
- KL Titiwangsa
- few days in brickfields temple
- few days in a year in Taiping

4 places you've been vacation to:

- Bangkok 2003 & 2005
- Europe 2004
- HongKong 2005
- Kuching 2003

4 places you would rather be:

- PJ home right now, with this cozy breezy weather, on a Friday..
- Tibet
- .. dunno..
- .. no place like home ..

4 of your favourite food:

- pizza
- guylian chocolate or dark chocolate
- chocolate icecream
- McD

4 websites you visit daily:

- http://mail.google.com
- almost daily - news.yahoo.com or www.cnn.com
- blog that i spy
- ami (asset mgt inventory) database

4 tagged:

seriously... i dun care...

How to be patient...

when you didn't take the usual route to Federal from home, but dunno what spell make you TURN to Seapark and THEN of ALL day, this DAY the road leading to the roundabout is JAMMED!

when you saw that both right and left turn leads to major jam, you U-turn and you thought you should have gone to Jln 222, my usual way, but I end up going towards Section 13 thinking I might wanna use Amcorp exit to Federal...

when some weird spell make you sooooo impatient with the traffic light, you got fedup of waiting, you TURN LEFT and GET CAUGHT IN THE WORST PJ-roundabout jam. Why is it horrible, because you LEAST expected it, and you NEVER use this road, and you JUST WANTED TO GET ON TO FEDERAL HIGHWAY!

What would usually take me less than 8 mins to reach FH, took more than 45 minutes.

I was in a hurry to reach a new housing area in KAJANG town, all the way down south.

3 people will be waiting for ME in KAJANG for lunch. The meeting was supposed to be 1pm. I left home about 12.20pm, thinking I'll be abit late as expected. BUT I end up being fashionably LATE.

Worst thing is, the weather was extremely perfectly FINE! It was 12pm ++ and the sun is right above, shining right through the car roof, the car was boiling. I was just praying that the car's temperature wont fail me this time, with this non-moving crawl.

WHY the JAM????? I've never cursed more than enough in my life inside the car, 2 stupid warehouse house sales, on the parallel road, with the out-of-control ROUNDATION in between.

Why are Malaysians sooooo "patient" to get stucked in this kind of jam, just to go for some warehouse sales, under such intense HOT sun?!

WHY DID I TURN LEFT on my straight road to Jalan 222?!!??!?!? What was that "inner" voice trying to do to me...

I screamed, I yelled, I SMS so many times, I thought I would just breakdown on the road there and smash up somebody's car (if my car ever breakdown right there and then).

Safely I reached Kajang, ate lunch, went back to PJ, went to a short meeting to collect things, and now im back home trying to rush for something that is NOT supposed to be my job.

I'll see how much more energy I'll have left for tonight.

Things to accomplish this weekend : -
- Saturday morning cheng meng
- DESIGN Sakyadhita BANNER (not my job)
- IDC movie presentation
- Compile info for Sue
- morning walk at Kiara on Sunday
- meet some ppl in temple on Sunday
- search for all my payslips by Monday

Patience is such an impossible virtue for me at the wrong time.

~*~ n ~*~

JUST as I just finish publishing this blog, a very blur friend ask me on MSN "how to you yahoo messenger?"

Gosh... ok so I gave the link to download. Then she ask "eh I log in how to chat? I dont see any icon"

...
..
.

I found out she downloaded the isntaller but havent isntall yet. Then every step of the installation prompt, she'll ask me... yes no.. yes.. no..

my good heaven...

I just dont know if u know what its like inside me where I cant shout at people when I seriously wish I could. You cant already shout at IT-blur customer-users at work... sigh...

How email flies...

Bees fly.. birds fly... flies also can fly, but can emails fly?!

I the getsmart me, enjoy finding problem or solutions to problem, but I had to dig out info from the poor field services engineers, some of them with limited English comprehension, I may not 100% understand what they're saying.

So, I found out that Korea is pilot testing CFI, which is like ghost program that is causing the duplicate UUID that I am seeing from the server. So I escalate to my boss, cc to the field service's lead in KL team. So this FS lead in KL replied my email, cc to his boss (also our boss) in SG. Then this SG-chilipadi-boss escalate to HER boss in AsiaPac (aussie guy), then aussie guy replied cc to I dunno who, and it went back to some other boss...

*fuiyoh... one small fry's email get flown everywhere...

my teamlead's advice for me : Be very careful of what you write in your email.

true true..

Same dog, different life.

Heard of the chinese saying "same human, different life". Its very kesian to see the stray dog roaming outside my house, they do no harm to human. There is the papa dog, mama dog, and 2 puppies and also 2 other relatives. The mama dog gave birth to 5 puppies at the nursery opposite my house. From 5 now left 2. Only 1 is brown in colour, the rest are white with black spot. They look really ugly and nobody really want them. Well, except the brown cute puppy, but my mom decided not to take it as it is very wild.

Recently MPPJ came to try to catch the mama dog, but the "way" MPPJ try to capture the dog is too inhumane!! :( They use a hook, with a wire-circle at one end, to hook the dog's neck, then they'll PULL the dog.My goodness.. the dog of course tried to struggle and finally escaped with the wire still hooked around the neck, and 'injuring' the neck. So you can actually see the neck 'bulging' out, with the tight wire around it. Well, I couldn't snap a picture of the "injured" part where you can see the organ inside, here is what you see on the other side of the face.

Sometimes, the brown puppy will come directly infront of my house, at the gate wondering around. And there I see Bobo-the-pampered dog inside my house, living a luxurious life. Sigh... then I tell Bobo, you are sooo lucky!!! Korliandai the dogs outside, who'd no owners and always living with fear that MPPJ might come back again!

What can I do? Maybe I can suggest to MPPJ not to use such inhumane way to catch stray dogs, but then after having captured the dogs, they'll be put to sleep anyway!

This dog actually had it's leg beaten and now it's like that. Then my dad heard me saying the dogs so cham, and he said "what can you do?", meaning it's the dog's Karma. Same situation applies across all living beings, "same human, different life".

Just 2 nights ago, a schizophrenic friend from school suddenly called and starting crying. (like doh?!) She said "chuan wei's mom told me not to call again to disturb him anymore!" Then she sobbed. Haiyo.. this girl is already very cham lah, already born (not sure if she got fever when young) that caused her to be mentally-not-normal, leading a very boring life staying with her elderly mom. Yet there are some people who'd to hurt her in such cruel way. To tell her off on the phone "please do not call again to disturb" (her favourite guy-bestfriend) is like wow... how could she take it?! I have alot of patience dealing with mentally ill patient, but it doesn't help me at all if other people in society start inflict more mental pain to them! Maybe the truth hurts, this girl must learn to cope the 'reality' of life, the hardway. But she doesn't have the same level of thinking-capacity as normal people do to cope up with a normal difficult life. Soon she'll call me again, asking me why this girl dont want to talk to her, why that boy dont want to talk to her. Most of the time she'll just complain "i'm so boring!" hoping that I'd take her out anywhere. How many times can I take her out? How long more can she live with her mother's care?

I faced a difficult question one day, when she asked if she could stay with me if one day her mother is gone....

An unexpected encounter...

Went to Fraser's Hill over the weekend for sun sch staff training, focusing on how to deal with children. More of like psychology + counselling + communication training, conducted single-handedly by sis. Brabara.

Of which, of course I am the photojournalist. Took pic with my digital camera, like nobody business. I guess everybody is used to seeing me focusing my lense on them at any random time of the day.

Funny thing is, after the trip, on Monday morning... one of the senior teacher called me (really unexpected to me), questioning me about one of the photo which I took. Like yeah, my first impression is you want me to develop the picture for you? Hell No! She wants me to erase / delete it! Like huh?

See this teacher is married to another senior teacher who's also in the picture, but there's another 'lamp post' trying to be funny sitting in not-so-nice position facing the man, and the wife is feeling 'jealous'!!!! I TELL YOU... I tried so hard in office, not to "HUHHHH?!?!?!?" at this teacher. She kept repeating to me "you're still young, maybe you dont understand... next time when you're married you'll know".

I was wondering if I did anything wrong. I'll usually delete pictures which are really blur or not of acceptable quality... but to delete a picture due to a woman's jealousy?!?! She begged me to understand her, and hope that this is a secret between me and her. Not to bring this up to anybody.

Gandalf is really making alot of sense to me more and more. Gandalf briefly stated that those people who teach in my sun sch are all having problems. Sometimes, it just take a little extra wisdom for the world to be brighter. Somehow I feel... high intelligence-low wisdom people are alot more than high wisdom-low intelligence.

Whereby I know both my parents can qualify as high-wisdom though low-intelligence.

Traitor to my brother!

Haha.. this evening, I thought what special skincare product WB is gonna share, mana tau its one of my brother's big rival - big E. My bro is hardcore big A. They sell almost the same range of products, but of course WB has many more years of health/beauty care experiences compared to my brother, who'd never once convinced me to buy anything.

People like me, who dont care about the skin or my health, really do not see the need to buy expensive products to use. My bro did facial demo at my our own house and I didn't even join. Now I'm buying the whole skincare range of product from big E?!! Gosh... tell me where to hide it.

Just doesn't feel nice, I know my bro is working very hard to go out everynight to meet potential clients. Maybe it's the language, me and my bro doesn't speak the same language. He uses more canto-mandarin, I use more english-canto. Whenever we 'talk', being the lawyar-buruk, I tend to out-talk him, for the sake of out-talk.

Anyway, wherever my bro is right now pitching his sales, hopefully he doesn't fight a war with me when he's back. I'm telling myself that maybe in the future I should give myself the chance to 'listen to my brother talking sincerely'.

I even brought my single-aunts, my mom and my friend to come to watch the demo by WB. My health-freak aunt signed up as member after that. See, experience wise, I know my bro lose out to WB of course. My bro is only beginning to start understanding more health terms, he didn't even take biology in school.

Well, in any field that we choose to do, I guess we have to start from the bottom, and work hard first before getting ourselves established.

I have an acquintance who sold hla insurance to me so "easily" while it took alot of courage and strenght for my freshie-agent close friend to sell me the even more branded ge.

Having said all that... who is the sucker? I am.

Prove me wrong - Singaporeans are arrogant..

Well, I thought I had my worst encounter with a China (Shanghai) user, not until I realise the contact +65 xxx is Singapore code la!! *chew... still have a clean record with China users then.

So happen this asset was registered in Shanghai, I emailed this user, he called me direct spoke in fluent English. (in my mind, I thought how can this China user speak so fluent English), anyway, the netmeeting session got screwed and I lost touch with the user. He tried to call me back, but the helpdesk screwed up, cos my name is not registered with the HR, then the HR has problem tracking me down. (that was before I was converted to perm staff).

Anyway, 15 mins later, when user finally got hold of me on the phone, wow.. I had the hardest time in my customer-service-support to apologize until the cow come home, STILL the user was so MAD! It was just 15 minutes of non-activity at the netmeeting cos it hanged.

So I became afraid of this user, dare not call him again, and kept bugging the service engineers in Shanghai to physically track him down for me.. but none of them seems to know where he 'relocated' to. Deng.... that's how suddenly when your mind is not thinking... he's in / from SINGAPORE!

Singapore client sucks. All my encounter with Singaporean clients have been rather hostile... just dont know if they didn't teach them courtesy in school.

Oh ya, ultimately our associate-team is based in SG, the biggest boss for our team are all Singaporeans. Yeah... their tone of talking on the phone... sometimes I just wish to say "why do you have to shout?"

Life's like that..

Today, I started my first day of work with C**. I hope there's no more stormy sea and hopefully smooth sailing from now on.

I shared with my teamlead what 'news' I heard from my ex-boss, about how they find a scapegoat in 'me' for brandz non-payment to my ex-company. My teamlead was surprised to hear that, she didn't know brandz bigfish can be so 'sly'.

Well, I dont have proof to defame people's dignity, but this sharing insider scoop with my old-friend, made me realise this point -- do not trust the bigfish. I told my teamlead that, and she said "ok now I know something new".

Read my horoscope yday, and advised me to be patient. Dont jump the gun and simply shoot everybody. Patience... I was thinking to myself, yeah I dont have to influence other people's Karma, Karma will work itself anyway. Just let the world flow as it is, I only have to control myself.

another Mastercard advertisement..

To take LRT down to KL twice in a day, RM9.20.
To resign from a lmf company by not giving up to 2 months notice, RM3750.
The feeling of being free as a bird, no more working under the lmf company... PRICELESS!!

From the moment I woke up, when I had to meet the boss once again for re-negotiation, to going home just to have a long heartachy discussion with mom over lunch, and deciding to pay back the company.. to let me go ENTIRELY.

I was given option 2, to forget about my Feb salary while they let me go on paper, but somewhere in the middle of March, I have to become a "trainer" for an advance level module of a course, where I'm supposed to have hands-on knowledge in... YEAH RIGHT. Yes, I know how to play simple piano pieces through reading the notes, but you're asking me to teach 2 students for 4 days, grade 8 piano lessons. While I dont even have any cert in playing piano. I so wish to tell him.. screw you! *but my mom keep reminding me not to simply use that word screw*

His proposal of this win-win solution sounds fair, but why do I have to push myself so hard? Why cant I choose the easy life. I owe my life to nobody! I'd had enough of nonsense, to ask me teach advance level of ITRM... and to expect me to go through the course material and get ready within a week. I never sit for an exam without preparing enough for it... enough for me to feel happy about whatever result that I may get.

I'm starting to wonder how am I able to withstand the immense harshship that businessman have to painstakingly go through to keep surviving in the game. That lmf company that I ffk from is being screwed by their biggest principal-client-brandz. The mother of ALL excuse that brandz could give is to blame 'me' for their losing their $$$. So they penalize my (now) ex-boss by not paying them.

My Feb salary was not settled, (same goes to my other now ex-cllg) due to their sudden caught-offguard no $$$ situation. I managed to tai-chi the blame back to brandz, advising my stupid ex-boss to screw back the biggest bullshitter, not me. He could still "call me a friend" during my meeting, and say he trust what I say. Gosh.. i wanna vomit.

There's nobody I can trust at some point, my faith is with my new employer, who agree to take me in early, ie next Monday.

At the end of it, I have to "see" something good out of every shit that I've to go through. Today's drama dawned on me that 'if bad things dont go, good thing dont come'. Watching TV abit, heard the phrase 'sometimes you win, sometimes you lose'.

When I finally got my acceptance of resignation letter, with the agreement of last day of work in black and white... I'm more happy than sad (for my lost of $$).

I just wish I will never see those people again!!! Urrgghh...

Another Personality Test

My result from this personality test. Dont really see the accuracy of it, but its somewhat who I am I guess...

You are a Dynamic Leader.

About You - You are a Leader

Your solid grounding in the practicalities of life, along with your self-assuredness and your willingness to appreciate new things make you a LEADER.

You're in touch with what is going on around you and adept at remaining down-to-earth and logical.

Although you're detail-oriented, this doesn't mean that you lose the big picture.

You tend to find beauty in form and efficiency, as opposed to finding it in broad-based, abstract concepts.

Never one to pass on an adventure, you're consistently seeking and finding new things, even in your immediate surroundings.

Because of this eagerness to pursue new experiences, you've learned a lot; your attention to detail means that you gain a great deal from your adventures.

The intellectual curiosity that drives you leads you to seek out causes of and reasons behind things.

Your confidence gives you the potential to take your general awareness and channel it into leadership.

You're not set on one way of doing things, and you often have the skills and persistence to find innovative ways of facing challenges.

You are well-attuned to your talents, and can deal with most problems that you face.

You are balanced in your approach to problem-solving, not letting your emotions hold you up.

You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.


If you want to be different:

There's more to life than the practical - take some time to daydream and explore the aesthetic sides of things.


How You Relate to Others - You are Dynamic

As someone who is DYNAMIC, you do not have a hard time meeting new people, and you have a bunch of close friends.

You are not overly concerned with what others may think about you, which leaves you free to be thoroughly involved in the world around you.

There are those who find being around people exhausting—but not you! Interacting with others, whether at a party or in conversation, gives you energy.

You have a strong sense of what the world is like and how it should be.

You have enormous respect for those who have earned their success, and have little patience for those who try to bend the rules or ride on the coattails of others' hard work.

Believing in the importance of integrity and hard work doesn't stop you from believing that people will do the right thing—you know that people are good at heart.

You sometimes have trouble understanding why others feel the way they do, but it doesn't stop you from having faith and trust in those around you.

Part of what makes engaging with people so interesting for you is that you occasionally learn something new about yourself or about a problem you're having when discussing things with others.

Your strong worldview leads you to believe that people shouldn't rely on their emotions so much when making decisions.

Why cant I talk gently?

Good question! Talk to my mom, I'll gradually raise my voice when I try to explain about my employment-complication. Gosh.. u know how brandz is related to XO, and how all these companies all is trying to outcon each other.

My brother also stirred my vocal volume louder, when he asked me to fix his powerpoint presentation, ie why the slide dont automatically move when the 2nd song starts. At first I was really jumpy because I thought it was a simple problem that I could solve, but as he tried to show the part where he got stucked, it took him so long to explain it... how else would I not raise my voice?! My bro hit it back at me "why cant you explain it nicely and softer?!" (anyway I couldn't solve it, its like a bug, I just gave other solution)

Bleegghh... breath... actually I cant answer that question, not that I dont know the asnwer, but its so frequent that my voice would just instantanously blow up when I have to 'explain slowly' to my mom or my bro or you know people like them.

I just hope I can seriously control my rudeness at work! Cannot imagine if it was a client on the phone, trying to be funny, kept asking the same question and not getting it.

I used to have this blog, where I can go there let go my steam, and just scream it out... but there's no meaning in the scream... I could have just shout in reality, but that wouldn't happen. You can never shout at your mom, and it only makes you feel guilty for being warned by your mom / sibling that you've been rude.

My dad? Well, I speak with this tone with him, but he's not soo.. slow. So I wouldn't get into "speaking slowly & unconsciously louder" problem. Talking to my dad, I can talk faster.

You know when you watch Jamie Oliver or Kylie Kwong on TV, my mom actually couldn't understand what they're saying.

Wish I can inject some compassion into my skin, or face so that I can really defuse the exploding energy.

I really have nothing better to say about my complicated-employment story. I've come to the point, that I want to throw the towel and say I rest my case. If only they'd put in Ac-style manager and make complicated story fun, and not take life too seriously!

Working with really typical Chinese bosses, they squeeze the hell out of every juice in your body. Enough of my work... wasting effort talking about i... I just want a life.

March 2006

Last night, I was interrogated by my blur technical boss, on why I was being asked not to go back to work in C**, as informed by brandz.

What stunt is C** trying to pull off?! So here I am at C** again, not sure where I should be, but I know I have work to do in C** and yes, I got my official offer letter from C**.

The trick here is not to let brandz know what I'm up to.

Actually what is there to be afraid of? If I dont get salary by present company for March, I should be covered by C**. Either way, my job is the same. Position is the same.

Everybody trying to be stuntman... really wish I could pull this off really for the last time, no strings attached.