It takes alot mental energy to think of how to bring back the wooden playpen/cot used by myniece at my parents house. Before that i borrowed a plastic playpen. All didnt work. My mil wld still entertain my son and carry him everywhere whenever he fusses just a little.
All my wishes, my planning, my hope... in reality is dead.
I cannot raise my voice at her because she is not my own mother. She is my mil. Nobody can raise his/her voice at her, even her own sons are so polite and kind with her. Because she is after only toooo kind!
Nobody can truly comprehend my shitty mind-disturbing & pathetic situation that i face every day. People say i dont know how to appreciate her. Yes really i really dont know how! I never ask her to soooo kind! She doesnt listen. She does things her way. She impulsively come over to carry my son although im handling him!!! Who is the mother?
How to appreciate for something that i dont want??!!
I dont want her to lose weight because of my son. I dont want her to have no chance to eat a simple tongsui that she took out fr fridge & put in back in fridge for 3 consecutive days!!!
I hate it each time she mention "you eat first la!!"
I hate it each time each time she stand up from her seat while having her meal to come over to my son....
I hate to know my son would rather look for his grandma when he wants comfort. OMG am i not the mother who loveeeees my own son to bits??! Am i not the mother who'd pump and pump and breastfeed my son everyday? Did you know that even a fully breastfeeding caring mom like me is replacable as a mother? I can just move to spore to work and still pump milk and ship the milk back to my son for her to feed.
I cannot complain. Because im the one who should appreciate my lovely kind and sacrificial mil. It would break my husband apart if he has to choose btwn his mom or me. No Dhamma teacher would condone my 'evil' mind. I cannot tell her off like how i doh all my own relatives and inclding my own parents. Im at peace with myself. No need to pretend to be nice. But with her... i have to behave myself. I cannot say things too blunt. I must filter my words. I cannot be my natural sarcastic self. I cannot scream and shout my displeasure on my facebook anymore because she is also on fb.
I need to go for marriage counselling therapy.
My life is dead.
All my wishes, my planning, my hope... in reality is dead.
I cannot raise my voice at her because she is not my own mother. She is my mil. Nobody can raise his/her voice at her, even her own sons are so polite and kind with her. Because she is after only toooo kind!
Nobody can truly comprehend my shitty mind-disturbing & pathetic situation that i face every day. People say i dont know how to appreciate her. Yes really i really dont know how! I never ask her to soooo kind! She doesnt listen. She does things her way. She impulsively come over to carry my son although im handling him!!! Who is the mother?
How to appreciate for something that i dont want??!!
I dont want her to lose weight because of my son. I dont want her to have no chance to eat a simple tongsui that she took out fr fridge & put in back in fridge for 3 consecutive days!!!
I hate it each time she mention "you eat first la!!"
I hate it each time each time she stand up from her seat while having her meal to come over to my son....
I hate to know my son would rather look for his grandma when he wants comfort. OMG am i not the mother who loveeeees my own son to bits??! Am i not the mother who'd pump and pump and breastfeed my son everyday? Did you know that even a fully breastfeeding caring mom like me is replacable as a mother? I can just move to spore to work and still pump milk and ship the milk back to my son for her to feed.
I cannot complain. Because im the one who should appreciate my lovely kind and sacrificial mil. It would break my husband apart if he has to choose btwn his mom or me. No Dhamma teacher would condone my 'evil' mind. I cannot tell her off like how i doh all my own relatives and inclding my own parents. Im at peace with myself. No need to pretend to be nice. But with her... i have to behave myself. I cannot say things too blunt. I must filter my words. I cannot be my natural sarcastic self. I cannot scream and shout my displeasure on my facebook anymore because she is also on fb.
I need to go for marriage counselling therapy.
My life is dead.
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