Tis' the season to be jolly.. ka?

MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE!!! Hello?! U there?? Where have you been!?? Well, who am I talking to actually? To you, my blog readers or to me myself who'd not been blogging so frequently lately... If nobody is commenting on my blog anymore, then I'd be thinking nobody is reading, then what's my point of writing?

But how can I just stop writing and control myself from craping about stuff that's happening to me... actually it doesn't matter, maybe I've already crapped it out to people around me, and then the energy to use to re-write/tell the same story will be less intensed. I still can't bear to just openly write and share about my personal story about my ahem so-called boyfriend in here. Like in real life, when people start kidding with me using their astonishment-stare when they discover that I'm actually dating somebody... meijoonised-grin sets in.

Work life!

I was in for a shock when my teamlead and mgr left me a bombshell, that I've been underperforming (their interpretation of my questionable work performance) after 1.5 yrs of being in this chineseee-firm. AT has his way of interpreting work problem in the most positive way and gave his piece of advise to me --
"as long as u put value in it ya.. maybe what i am trying to say is that...we all hav to take ownership of our own life and how ppl see us.."

"if got misinterpretation... we hav to correct it, and not wait for others to realize it themselves coz that wont ever happen"

"take ownership of the prob.."

Hmm... let it slowly sink in me. I've heard of this term quite often in times of conflicts or when problems affect multiple teams. Who's the owner of this and that? Who should take ownership of this new problem? My old teamlead is one who do not take ownership of problems, but my new teamlead seems to very proactive in taking ownership of things. I'm so white hat, that you know I dont give a shit what happens, cos when shit happens, it just happens and then I just provide solution. I think I left out the part that I'm supposed to take ownership of problems.

My mgt thinks I'm not proactive enough, not initiative enough and have problem with communication. Ahem... yeah, tell me about it. I guess I do not really know how to speak very professionally that's deemed unfit for professional-minded people.

Wait... how can I forget what AT said, I should talk emphatically?! Feel and understand what the other party is trying to get, solve their interpretation of the problem eventhough I may have already solved my problem. Waah.. then I thought, AT was trying to preached for me to have more compassion towards people. Ahem... true true... I know I lack compassion...

Ajahn Brahm said "Wisdom & Compassion are the two wings of a bird, if you only have one of it then you'll be flying in circle." Sei mei... seems that I'm putting in good use of all the Dhamma teachings that I'm being exposed to. Ishhh... use wisdom and COMPASSION at work when dealing with problems and people... *phew...

Hey you heard of this AB story abt a Thai monk solving a supercomputer glitch at NASA through meditation?!! I wonder if I could try that *lol* of if I did try send Metta to the server & network and if it really did resolved my current work-challenge, how am I going to explain it?!? They're all trying to narrow down to the rootcause.. at times like this, I wish I was more network-competent, to understand how NAT / MPLS / OSI7-layer have effect on the failure of our application to function properly after the MPLS migration.

OK where was I? hmm.. lotsa crap to shout out still... like there's a new album by Joey Mcintyre!

And I was really inspired by MPNCK's new found friend, who also suffer from spastic but yet lead through a purposeful life, although coming from a very poor family background. Let's see if I have the chance to reach out to her.. or if she's in need of any help. Maybe I shall first correspond with her through email.

I'll be looking forward to a mini Penang getaway during this xmas season... lotsa more activities to get occupied with. Not really progressing in my UT sales.

aaaahh... to learn to take ownership of my life?!! brrr....