Blackberry.. Grooming...

I'm getting the hang on it... to carry a blackberry. No it's not exactly mine, but I'm being assigned to support it for the company. So my teammate sorta handover the blackberry-support-unit to me, and the best part > I can get connected to msn & check personal email! All through the tiny screen of the blackberry!

OK the tiny keypad is not fun, no it's not for long-winded msn chats. I get dizzy trying to concentrate my eyes on my report on desktop monitor, and fingers pressing on the tiny QWERTY pad in reply to msn msg.

Maybe its cool that I can connect with people online, while on the move in the lrt. Double cooler that the guy standing nearby was looking at me. Hmm... I think to myself, do I want to attract attention by carrying an LV bag with a great bitchy hair or by squinting my eyes trying to use a Blackberry?! Both also will cost alot to me, I'd rather be carrying the gadget!

I'm waiting to see, for how long they'd allow me to use it, with unlimited data access (no voice service). Thus practically breaching bank's security policy. But in the whole bank, there's only 27 users, only HOD & CEO have it... and now I have it - instead of for critical business purpose, but for system support :P haha.

~*~

I met some priviledge banking "rm" during a grooming course that I attended last week, trainer was Wendy Lee from ChapterOne. Coming from technical background, I was blur > I didn't know rm means 'relationship manager' and priviledge banking is something 'superior' and to be a banker serving high-net-worth customer, one needs to be very properly groomed, wear business-suit, put on makeup, and... behave like very lansi!

The trainer was surprised that I volunteered myself to join the grooming course, and I was the only one from IT. One look at me as I walk in, she couldn't stand by eyebrow. During the hands-on makeup lesson, she came over to me to 'shave' my eyebrows! I know I learnt alot about attire, makeup, hair, etiquette, etc but I ask myself this (again) > do I really want to follow?

She said, if everybody in your depart do not put on makeup, then you must put on light up. If everybody puts light make up, then I should even be better groomed - for the purpose of to STAND out. She talked about the survey about people getting paid more / climb corporate ladder faster - if they're more attractive / pay attention to grooming.

And she even acknowledge that the wester etiquette that she teaches, can be "keh keh" but what to do, this is the society, where business = english dominant = western culture. Too bad for Chinese ed, we have to learn how to follow the gweilo culture, and the english ed people just have to forgive the chinese ed for being rude / crude / too-straight forward / reserved etc.

I guess through my 6 years in typical chinese primary school, I am classified as chinese-ed, although I can't write / read / speak chinese properly. I don't know how to "keh keh" when I talk to people, I actually have alot to follow & learn in this subject called grooming.

Back to the question -- do I want to STAND out? Do I want to have the edge over others? Will I start putting make up? Will I learn to talk "keh keh" style on the phone? The CHOICE is mine. The trainer reminded that, coming for the grooming course will be wasting time, if we do not choose to change. Change do not happen overnight, but I can gradually change 3-6 months down the road.

To present myself with an image for other people including strangers. What is the image do I want to portray? Do I want to do something about my image that will represent for who/what I want to be?

Actually.. I'm still thinking... and this is no end. I've been questioning myself since I was a teenager - and I'm still questioning myself now - and I have not settled for an answer. I am much more contented with myself than having the motivation to change my image! I don't know why!

Lansi young slutty banker sneered at me "u work in IT can earn much meh?" I doh-ed in my heart, and I know my answer inside, and she won't get it. I care not to reply. I very thankful for having touch base with the spirituality and having kalyana mitras.