What is my feeling now? Last night after sayang shared with me about the 'mother of all conversation' his parents and him and abang had (without me again?!!). The outcome sounds better than what I'd expected and I actually felt a peaceful sense of relief at the immediate moment.
But then as my mind wonder further, on the how's and whatifs..
Well you see, realistically and pragmatically I just wish that my in law can go back to their own house or stay with abang. But the 2 sons kept insisting for my mil to sell off her one and only property of her own (to complicate things) and now the solution is for my mil and fil to combine their $ to buy a house NEAR me (after selling mil setapak hse), so near you can even walk over. Which everybody seems to AGREE!
Of course ideally its a good solution, but can you imagine you're 70+ and still need to go through the hassle of buying a new house, and use up whatever weak energy you have to MOVE your belongings from one house to another house? And then to sort out the extra monthly bills to pay when you're already retired.
It's not going to be overnight, it would be quite hopeful to think that they will complete their moving to a house nearby me within 2 years.
In my own mind, I was thinking to myself if we could co-share buy a bigger house to fit in my kids and my parents in law together, with 2 set of living rooms. This idea didn't come out from sayang... maybe he knows this wont really give me the real peace & freedom & space that I'm yearning for.
I hinted boldly to my ahsoh that the only way that I get to redeem my freedom is for them to take the initiative to invite my pil to stay with them. And abang seems to want both his parents to join him in Spore moving forwards as he & his whole migrate over. Actually me and abang are in the same boat of thought!
Abang, don't worry about your younger brother and me... we will be FINE on our own. We dont get home cooked food every day is OK, we can cook very simple meals and learn to cope within our own means. We can educate our child the way that we want without interference from your weird folks.
I will go down the book as a bad daughter in law who indirectly chase her in law out of the comfort of her own house. But why doesn it not concern me much? I dont feel guilty nor regret? Ahsoh show me and proof to me you can get along beautiful with your pil in your new home... I wish you all the best! You can do it! You will succeed in where I failed... its ok! I never asked for it anyway.
But then as my mind wonder further, on the how's and whatifs..
Well you see, realistically and pragmatically I just wish that my in law can go back to their own house or stay with abang. But the 2 sons kept insisting for my mil to sell off her one and only property of her own (to complicate things) and now the solution is for my mil and fil to combine their $ to buy a house NEAR me (after selling mil setapak hse), so near you can even walk over. Which everybody seems to AGREE!
Of course ideally its a good solution, but can you imagine you're 70+ and still need to go through the hassle of buying a new house, and use up whatever weak energy you have to MOVE your belongings from one house to another house? And then to sort out the extra monthly bills to pay when you're already retired.
It's not going to be overnight, it would be quite hopeful to think that they will complete their moving to a house nearby me within 2 years.
In my own mind, I was thinking to myself if we could co-share buy a bigger house to fit in my kids and my parents in law together, with 2 set of living rooms. This idea didn't come out from sayang... maybe he knows this wont really give me the real peace & freedom & space that I'm yearning for.
I hinted boldly to my ahsoh that the only way that I get to redeem my freedom is for them to take the initiative to invite my pil to stay with them. And abang seems to want both his parents to join him in Spore moving forwards as he & his whole migrate over. Actually me and abang are in the same boat of thought!
Abang, don't worry about your younger brother and me... we will be FINE on our own. We dont get home cooked food every day is OK, we can cook very simple meals and learn to cope within our own means. We can educate our child the way that we want without interference from your weird folks.
I will go down the book as a bad daughter in law who indirectly chase her in law out of the comfort of her own house. But why doesn it not concern me much? I dont feel guilty nor regret? Ahsoh show me and proof to me you can get along beautiful with your pil in your new home... I wish you all the best! You can do it! You will succeed in where I failed... its ok! I never asked for it anyway.
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