What's the meaning of Awakening? What's being mindful all about? From emo-intelligent training, to the Global Conf on Buddhism themed on 'Transforming The Mind', then came THE CAMP on 'Simple Steps of Wisdom, Journey to Awakening' & just yesterday I attended a Dhamma talk by a living example of a man with mindfulness.
It is very useful reminder, time and time again, on the benefits of practising mindfulness or just be aware. I have not much comment about the camp (better to leave it to the participants or hardworking committees to share) as I was more of trying to 'see' things. Just learn from the speakers, watch the participants, being there when I'm needed and live each day by the moment!
I sort of got 'awakened' at some point during the camp when I was idling and just watching... actually there's nothing much for me to do! I'm already exco and then chairperson... what more is there to do? With that thought, I realised my Dhamma knowledge is limited. That sometimes (or most of the time), I cannot speak like a Dhamma speaker on sharing all the concept, ideas and knowledge on Buddhism to the beginners. One participant was really confused about stuff and I couldn't really give a satisfactory answer. Why don't I resolve to just improve on my Dhamma knowledge and have more ready answers at the tip of my fingers?!!! That way I'll be really useful in helping people to clear doubts on Buddhism and what not. I'm contemplating.. hey Dhamma speakers course!!! *hahaha*
Meanwhile, on having to be reminded to be mindful, yes it's not easy. I've learnt the most powerful phrased during the camp, coined by Dr. Chan Kah Yein "don't think too much! 85% of your thinking is useless!"
Yesterday nite talk by Bhante Kovida, he said something about the state of awakening is when all the thinking STOP. There will be no "listener" and "sound" but just -- listening. There will be no "see-er" and "sight" but just -- seeing.
Fuiyo. Kaulat... for the Canadian monk who was brilliant as a child, who did well in science and maths, who chose the path to become a monk, to satisfy his search for the 'silent mind'. All his life when he was growing up, he said he "think too much" which doesn't give him happiness and peace. To really feel happy, peaceful, have loving-kindness and compassion, one's mind must be mindful and silent.
For the less than 5 minutes of 'trying' to be 'silent' at the start of his talk, I know my mind is too 'full of activity'. My eyes could not close for just 5 minutes! For that mere 5 minutes, I observed that my heartbeat was fast and breathing was very uneasy. Maybe it was right after dinner, the food is trying to settle in. Not a good idea to 'meditate' on a full stomach!
Maybe grasping for breath is due to my lack of exercise and using too energy in the mind.
Sayang also advised me to just 'be quiet' sometimes. At first I thought it's a sign of he's getting annoyed with me talking too much & being too noisy for him. But he said it is for my own good. I'm slowly grasping it... and sinking in with this important aspect of Buddhism -- mental cultivation -- to purify the mind.
It is already very easy for me to "do good & avoid evil" why not take the next step now, step up to the challenge and go on try it... practise and learn right mindfulness.
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