engrish country vs msian kampung wedding

I have 2 BBC distant cousin sisters. Those years, going to england to pursue nursing is like a dream job for my mom and people her generation. My mom was not allowed to go. Her cousin brother, lets call uncle wong and his wife (family from a really small village near Taiping) went ahead.

Fast forward to 2008. This evening, I attended their eldest daughter wedding dinner at a chinese restaurant. Her wedding reception and church wedding at Oxford with her gweilo husband was so... as englishy-country as you can ever imagine.

The thing abt my maternal grandma side of the family is they're all very close, and they like to have big family gatherings, and there will be lotsa noise and yakking and comparing and ... noise. Well old people actually appreciate noise. What's kampung-grown-family-reunion without the noise?

Uncle wong was so dramatic when one of his niece started to get ready for a kiddie-chinese-karaoke song, on stage. He practically shoo-ed them off stage. *cut it off*

Since appalling karaoke was a no-no to the englishy-people, and there was also no background music, not even pop ballads to fill the air. It was so odd, the wedding dinner, organised by the father whose probably afraid of scaring his son-in-law off. My parents and I were even contemplating on going up to the stage to grab the mic and ask for a thankyou speech from uncle wong.

There was no sign of the couple going on stage to make a yum-seng toast. I subtlely suggested to the other uncle wong that I volunteer to take group photo for each table, with the couple going round to each table.

Ahh... almost at the last dish... the newly-wed couple got up and went to the nearest table, thinking to take group photo, but everybody at the table stood up lifting their glass of tea or wine... and after I've finished snapping the group-table photo, they just instantly go "Yaaaaammmmm SENG"!

I think that must have caught the gweilo by surprised! I hear him asking how to say the word... he learnt quickly... and smiling... they went round to all other tables doing the same thing. Then the mood of the whole dinner begun to lighten up. With more cheers, louder laughing, the out-doing other table in shouting Yaaammm SENG!

It's not so bad afterall, my dad mumbled. The gweilo is enjoying himself!

And the horrible thing happened, one of the I-think-I-can-sing-very-well uncle from another family went up the stage to sing Karaoke in cantonese and hokkien songs. I think he did it on purpose. I guess uncle wong cannot control anymore -- what's a chinese kampung family wedding dinner without karaoke sung horribly by a loud uncle?

Yet, all eyes were on the 'entertainer' on stage. Old ppl were smiling, my grandma was even clapping her hand away. One of the song he sang was "cha-siao-bao"... go figure.

There's nothing much Vanessa talked about with me, when I went over to sit beside her to try to chat up. She's the only cousin from my maternal grandma family, who's about my age. Who got married first (for my generation). The rest of the cousins are toddlers, in primary & sec school, and a few school leavers.

She managed to show me her wedding pictures taken back in England (you gotta pronounced it the British way), I definitely must rave about the bride's hand bouquet in the photo, the colour combination is similar to this pic and added with calla lily flowing to the front.

I asked "how much did this bridal bouquet cost?"
"300 pound. It's by a designer florist. And the whole floral package including the table arrangements, the bridemaid's bouquet & corsages turned out to be 1000 pound."

*grasp* Wong Mun Yee where are you?! Should you go UK to do your floral design business?!

So on this wesak-eve, I attended the weirdest family wedding dinner ever.

I'm most intrigued by the differences in the wedding couple's family background.

Mom said (of course it has to come from my mom, she's the #1 kaypoh of the entire clan) the husband comes from a rich reputable scholarly family, the grandfather is a professor at Oxford Uni, their family lives in a big mansion. Their wedding reception was held at their own beautiful garden. Husband is a Catholic, so they exchanged vows in her own Oxford Harry-Potter-liked hostel church.

So intrigued, I replied "my grandfather was a book seller!" and my dad greefully add on "oh yes my father was once a lorry driver too!"

And looking at my mom I said "my other grandpa was a taxi driver!" My parents both laughed.

Through the years of knowing Vanessa and her younger sister Charlotte, should I be envious of them? Both sisters graduated from Oxford uni, Vanessa is now a medical doctor and Charlotte graduated as a lawyer now based in London. I onced enquired (sometime ago), the first year of her practise as lawyer, her pay would be as high as my then Accenture manager, after converting pound to ringgit.

Nah... not envious. Cos we're just from two very different world. Imagine during the dinner, my family of four, were assigned to the same table as another family, who all cannot speak English and were very lowly educated. I couldn't even explain in chinese language what do I work as. I tried say IT services in chinese... "tian nao fu wu" all of them were turning head... one even try to clarify.. "you install computer?" ... ahh yes I said... and also "repair when people make phone call". Ohh..... they could finally figure out. The guy beside me exclaimed he's working as "repair photostate machine". Ahhh.... it was as awkward talking to my relatives from this lowly-educated family vs as astounding talking to Vanessa's family.

Chinese saying ~ compare with the higher, you have less; compare with the lower, you have more.

Be thankful, be happy, living the moment. Happy Wesak Day!