It's very hard for me to reduce the number of tables that my parents has always been wishing for. My mom has been 'thinking' about her guests list since even before anybody said there's gonna be a wedding. My dad feels that those who'd invited him before... he must return the favour to invite back. Ok sounds reasonable...
Now comes my mom's maternal family side : which is going to make up the MOST tables for either side of any of me/sayang family, the question "how NOT to invite their children?"
When I say children, I really mean all of them who are younger than me. Some who are in primary school, who are very noisy and just plain no-eye-see. When you put a few of the family togethers, all bring their own young kids, they'll start running around, shouting around, chasing around...
Now we fix it only "Mr. & Mrs..." at the invitation card, they wont get it. One of the richer granduncle will make noise first, saying they're able to give enough angpow money so that you won't rugi, so what's wrong with bringing along his grandchildren?
So if richer granduncle's grandchildren's are all coming, why can't poorer granduncle's grandchildren come along? (you see we don't have any maid at home to look after the kids, no choice have to bring them along, if not how?!?) "why you look down on us?" -- that's the remark that will be repeated again and again.
If rich granduncle, poor granduncle's whole jin-gang family comes, why can't grand aunty's grandchildren come?
Ok let's do the maths, my ahma is #3 amongst her big Wong+Aw siblings. My ah-chor (great grandmother who died when I was 12) had 2 husbands. The first Wong-husband left, leaving behind my ahma, 2 gu-kong & 1 yi-poh surnamed Wong... the second Aw-husband also had a wife who left him... cut long story short, the Wong and Aw family combined and grew up together in a close-knit family in the poor Padang Regas village, not far from Taiping.
All of them are so close to each other, that even until now, when they're already in their 60's, 70's & 6ft-under... whenever there's a gu-kong or yipoh or ahma birthday, the whole clan (including their children & grandchildren) will come. I actually know all of my extended cousins who exist at ah ma's side.
While I've never met any of my mom's paternal side distance cousins, I don't know some of my dad's side distant cousins... but ahma's side is so special. By chinese-family-relationship status, my ahma's side should be least significant... but the fact is they're physically close!
Who's son got 7As... who's daughter got divorced... who got married due to accident... who got scholarship studying in Spore... who's son got ears pierced like gangster... we all know!
My dad is shaking his head visualizing all the naughty kids making alot of noise running up and down. My mom knows its POINTLESS to limit to "Mr & Mrs only", due to certain family who'll STILL bring their small children along.
...like what KNS said "it may be your wedding, but definitely not your dinner!"
My dad is agreeing to NO SHARKSFIN SOUP. My dad is cool enough to think why not combine chinese and indian food in the menu? *he thinks so many chinese dish boring la*
Dad is thinking, if the dinner is not held during the school holidays, maybe those far-away relatives will not come. If it's held on Sundays, maybe those naughty kids who'll have school on Monday will not come... dad got a point :P
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