im hungry but i need to lose weight

You know the problem with me who doesn't practise restrain, who likes to drink whenever she likes to drink *i mean tea even uptil very late at night*, who doesn't know how to say stop when she sees chocolate, who gets very hungry after drinking lotsa tea without proper meal... and I need to fit into a flattering gown. Hmm...
I was at this bridal-gown-for-sale shop at SS2, I went alone.. but I saw a few other ladies browsing through the catalogue with their other half. Erm... you know I'm just so me, I know what I like, and the chinese lady was pretty 'honest' with me, by saying "u can fit in that", "that's too small for you", "this cutting is not suitable for you"... ok doh so I left with not many choices in terms of 'cutting / style' and I actually felt uncomfortable in off-shoulder gown. It's so tight at the arm! So left with this only one gown that fits perfectly fine on me, infact that's the 1st gown that the lady took for me to try and she said I can wear this. And its plain, simple and RMM700++ (the others got RM800++). She said it unenthusiastically "actually this is European design".

In my heart I say -- that's the point. I couldn't imagine wearing the other gown with all the weird cutting, funny organza, too much embroidery.... and I think I'm pretty cool with just me and the fitting room mirror, without needing sayang to give second opinion. He's the other super busy fella doing all sort of things... I cannot even begin with who has a busier life!

I'm already really tight up with lotsa agenda... and I've just added something new -- producing a video clips that could touch people's heart, featuring my sunday class teenagers. The theme given to our class wesak project -- "compassion in action", incidently the ladakh fund raising dinner is also themed "compassion in action". I'm not sure if I'll be given the greenlight to include real life example of Ven Sanghasena in my class video project, but at the very least, I'm going to propose to interview the students on how they show their compassion / care / kindness/ gratitude towards another person closest to them, can be their mom, dad, bestfriend, teacher etc. I can prompt them "who is the most important person in your life?" "how do you spend time with your mom?" "if given a chance to show your gratitude towards your mom, what would you do?" I dunno.. I'm just thinkign inline with recording with pure innocent answer from the students, and they giggle and smile shyly as they share about their story... then I'll get them to shoot photo or video clips abt that special person... then I'll compile all together, put a nice sentimenal melody in the background...

I was only thinking that since this is a class project for the school exhibition, I'd like to request a corner with table to run the video clips on my laptop, with not too loud sound, so people can watch it as they go through the exhibition... my co-teacher said "better to put up this video onto the stage as one of the programme for wesak, with bigger impact reaching out to the whole hall audience"

Anyway, the more I think about it, the more excited I'm getting. Totally ignoring the fact that I need to revamp school website, do 80th anniversay commemorative book... get hands dirty with fundraising dinner... get voted in as exco for bgf again...

I think I get motivated by (get involve with) inspiring people. But be watchful... notice there's some ego rising when people praise you, like limkf said "you take very good pictures of people" and he suggested to put that picture I took (at ladakh) as the 1st picture people will see at the website and trigger people to click on it... to read further... and to donate for a cause. Dtk and all agreed! Then he repeated that sentence again to me... I observed that the ego just shot up. Not long later, I realised that I could have replied "thanks to the 50mm lense" or "thanks for tips from peter". I wouldn't have that 50mm lense if not for peter giving it to me. I also know that most good people-emotion shots are taken with that 50mm lense.

Maybe its human nature, they feel proud when they're being praised, and they keep brimming. Oh please... stop it. Come back to the ground, don't float too high until you couldn't touch the earth.

Anyway... moving on... I still need to find time to exercise, don't look so fat on my wedding!

神也是我。鬼也是我。

You know how sayang would describe me? No he don't remember what's ENTP or ISTJ... what choleric, what phlematic... he aptly puts it this way >> 神也是我。鬼也是我。
Too abstract to grasp? I think its when I'm both choleric and phlegmatic at the sametime... when there's the flashes of evil visuals, then there's the awareness of what is bad, and the ability to know what is good... *crapping*

So do you think I'm "angelish devil" or "devilish angel"? *muuaahahahaha....*

Know of such colleague?

This is just a crappy short incident that happened that might not happen in your everyday life. I have the monthly lrt pass, made of card material. I keep it in my nametag plastic cover. Sometimes, different colleagues will ask to borrow my pass during lunch time, so that they could hop on the lrt for free.

There is this guy, quite big size, I don't know who is he, must have been introduced to him before but I don't know how he know that I have a pass. So he just came straight to me to ask to borrow the pass... one day, he borrowed it and after lunch he'd return it to me.

Almost panting, he walked over, dig his shirt pocket and took out the pass...
"aiya sorry its wet ah..."
"nevermind.." (thinking he spilled water on it, I raised my hand and hold it)
"its my sweat ah"

Feel like puking...

Quick update? Hmm... so many thing happened, basically at RPK's blog. I'm feeling very sick reading how people aka humans can get murdered brutally.... by the police?! Still trying hard to stomach it... I feel like going on a peaceful vigil for feeling aghast with heartless Malaysian police squad. I ask myself, if I can bring myself to send metta to these people... its so hard.

What's the point of living in a country when policemen can take order to shoot dead another human? I dunno if I'm more sick that policemen can be so stupid (without wisdom & compassion) or policemen can be so cruel.

Feel like puking....

Lagi yau yeng bridal gown

If the previous post bridal gown samples were taken from http://www.onewed.com/ (which was cool enough), then these are from http://www.davidsbridal.com/, and I totally love the first one - the mOST out of ALL the gown pictures I've seen on the net so far :D Maybe its her hair?! :P
Ok, this second gown, I think it might be kinda tight for me, maybe its the model's confident strut which made the gown looked very good! Or maybe its the picture that looks good. Just thought the red waist band is unique.... oh my.. both pictures so lacey!! Does this mean I like lacey gown!?!

Another oh my... so simple, sexy-looking, hey no lace and just plain! So what now.. lacey or plain?

Like *jaws dropped* gown...

I like this alot! So simple! Of course the model is really slim with nice hair, but I think the V-neck, not totally bare-shoulder... just worried if its too lose & reveal too much cleavage. *I wish not to tie my hair up in a gown*
If I need to feel more secure, I find this tight-fitting piece equally stunning! Notice it might probably cover my flabby tummy eh?! Also V-neck!

Here's another cutting, like off-shoulder still a strap supporting over your shoulder and it's different from conventional bridal gowns you see in local magazines or ss2 bridal studios. I want to try this!
Ok, this is similar story, since its off-shoulder, can cover up abit of my flabby arms, and it looks special and sweet.

Well, here's what I'm thinking rationally how my body will look like, L-size. And its V-neck, with the shoulder strap, no flower / pattern nonsense. So is this it?!

So rude!

Scenario 1:
My bro & my cousin bros are colour blind but sayang didn't know or he don't remember what I've mentioned before. Anyway, I bought some new clothes, and started bringing out to show, and naturally I just showed my cousin and asked,
"what colour is this?"
(long pause) "don't know"
"guess la!"
"can't tell"
By then sayang looked at me and figured it out that my cousin is colour blind and sayang gave me a stern face "sayang don't ask! its so rude!"
??!?!?!!?!!!????!!!???

Scenario 2:
Late into the night, when mom got back from her puja & folding the clothes in the living room, and I was nearby working on the newsletter on the laptop... then suddenly I told mom
"...wanna pinjam your mat for house-blessing chanting" (then I continue with the laptop)
"why tomorrow you don't need me bring detergent to clean the house ah..."
"got tell already mah.. bring broom, bring pail, bring detergent..."
"har? like that tell? why didn't tell nicely?"
"yesterday you were here, when we discussed about tomorrow's housecleaning, aunty will come first and you all will bring her eat nasi kandar... you were here what!!"
"what!!! don't simply assume! YOU ARE SO RUDE!!!"
??!?!!?!!!??!?!!!!????!!!??!
(verbal fighting went on and on until I forced myself to stop replying...like total ignore)

Anyway, back at Scenario 1, case settled when my dad came to conclusion by directly asking my cousin "are you offended by asking you to guess what colour?" He said no.
As for Scenario 2, I feel its such a waste of energy for my mom to pick on me on such wuliow thing like broom-pail-mop-detergent. Looking at the 'heat' generated from my mom, I also kesian her... no peace for her. While I know very well, the way for my mom to have peace with me, is for me to talk with her very sweetly and gentlely and politely and smilingly > oh geeeehhhhh... I rather get punished to hell for being... tactless & not-so-sweet-to-mom!!

I thing the word should be "crude" not "rude"!

insyaallah all's well, ends well

Deposit RM3k swiped! We had table talk at Tai Thong Imperial Garden, at a very cozy nice room, with attached washroom... basically we like the 'interior design' of the place, with the turquoise wall and the lotus-design lamp dangling from the ceiling.

Since both our parents are 'fine' with the place, since there's another couple who'd put their name for the same date, we just took out the credit card. I wonder if courtesy sake, they should call up the other couple to inquire... I guess in business world, who pay first who get it first right? I'm just imagining that if someone else had booked and paid deposit for the date that we've already booked without courtesy inform us - cham lah!

Potentially we're having as many as 40 tables, if more than that, the banquet hall will be quite crammed. Let's keep your fingers crossed... that everything will turn out "all's well, ends well".

Doh people

i know it is breaking precepts to slander about other people. i wanted to ramble my 'doh' thought inside my mind, whenever i hear 'doh' words uttered.

when we're having exco mtg, towards the end of the mtg, her phone beeped, she abrupted said "oh that's my mother! Curfew curfew!" Then she rushed to go back. Mind you she's already 50+?

Then I imagined, what if I were her -- oh my gawwdd... I can't be having a mom who would still check on me and set a curfew for me when I'm already very big in age?!

I can't even stand simple pointless nagging by my own mom at home, imagine there's even more "caring" / breathing-down-your-neck mom out there?

~*~

Ahh nvm, i was about to write abt another statement uttered that really didn't make sense to me. Its really interesting... how certain people can be so annoying to you. But Dhamma taught us that we have to learn from them, they are your teacher.

...dinner venue hunting update

It's definitely crazy. 23rd January 2010 is a very good date that's why its already booked at so many places! I'm now thinking, these people who'd book their venue so early in advance, must have already planned it way way way in advance!

Now instead of having my sit-down chinese wedding on the same day as my tea-ceremony, we're option for the next day, 24th January, which is a Sunday! Better than not having a nice wedding venue AT ALL right?

Fingers cross that we'll get to book the 2 coolest places in town (that we can still afford insyaallah) ;)

Sshhhh... its a secret!