My frantic 2 weeks

Firstly, I'm tired. I'm not sure if I'm really tired, but I'm terribly missing the great awesome fun I had last Thu-Sun during the 23rd Incovar camp. Yet, apart from the camp itself, another life changing thing happened, that is on the eve of the camp. I went for final round interview for the "job".

Today was my first day for the "job". Actually my title is Systems Engineer, not Technical Consultant, but the job scope is relatively somewhat like Systems Integrator, Consultant cum Technical Support. Hmm... not too different from my previous job actually.

I told my dad, the only difference is the people! The boss, the colleagues, the clients are different now. Yet, somehow through my tone of voice talking to dad, I got major scolding from mom. All because they started asking me stupid questions and I really couldn't stand giving stupid answers. I know my mom knows why I couldn't talk gently to them, I've already shown dad my entire job offer letter, still he'd ask me stuff that there's no way I could humbly reply him, without raising a decibel of voice.

Is this what they call 1st-day-of-work stress? Hmm... I'm not sure if its stress, but I was surely hoping I could proof to new boss I could achieve what he'd expect of me, yet... I just got really bored today reading and reading about just one thing. If I dont read, I wouldn't know how to do. So what to do, just strive on, work hard, keep on reading and research until I fould the way - and show it to him - this Saturday!

Damn... the idea of working on every Saturdays, no it doesn't scares me. By right, I should be so thankful that I found a new job, miraculously on such a quick note, in fact, I didn't even have to search for it, the job found me!

The camp is so over now, yet still fresh in my mind, just like it was over only yesterday. There is this strong attachment in my heart that I do not want to let go. How nice if life goes on, inside the camp, where I dont have to see it end. Where I dont have to the wake up the next day, knowing I have a job to do, a deadline to meet, a boss to impress, a career path to plan, a client site to go, a system to maintain?! It's like I have to 'watch' myself, so as to not get too 'meijoonised' while dealing with working people.

You know what, I wish that I dont have to push myself so hard, just let it be. Dont try to impress people or work so hard, which might drain out my energy, that I'd like to keep it for myself. You know, clean my room, play with the stupid dog, talk to my problematic cousin, talk gently to my parents, or just sustaining the energy enough to pen a blog.

Sleep is beauty. If you really know what I mean.

I am so looking forward to the next gathering / meeting or whatever with the bunch of 23idc committees, who knows what the post mortem brings. Who knows who's gonna be the next camp chairman. Who knows if I'll remain as a programmer or not. Who knows if I'll get to meet the same people again, or see new faces?!

Suddenly, this song keeps singing in my head...

"Who knows what tomorrow brings.
In a world, few hearts survive.
All I know is the way i feel.
When it's real, I keep it alive.

The road is long, there are mountains in your way.
But we climb a step every day.

Love lift us up where we belong, where the eagles cry.
On a mountain high.
Love lift us up where we belong, far from the world.
We know, up where the clear wind blow.

Some hang on to used to be.
Live their lives, looking behind.

All we have is here and now.
All our life, out there to find.

The road is long, there are mountains in our way,
But we climb them a step ev'ry day.

Love lift us up where we belong, where the eagles cry.
On a mountain high.
Love lift us up where we belong, far from the world.
We know, up where the clear winds blow.

Time goes by, no time to cry, life's you and I.
Alive today.

Love lift us up where we belong, where the eagles cry.
On a mountain high.
Love lift us up where we belong, far from the world.
We know, where the clear winds blow."

~~ Up Where We Be Long ~~

Yeah, well in this past 2 weeks, I went for numerous interviews and even the PTD government test! Who knows if I could pass the test, especially the general paper where I couldn't answer most of the question about Malaysian history. Just 2 days ago, I bid my last farewell to my old boss. Just yesterday, I met up with the Incovar programmers for Chili's and got drown in a romantic comedy on a Wednesday! Just today, I'm gearing myself with new knowledge required of me for my new role.

*sigh... Life. Couldn't even make it a point.