A night out with a mentally handicapped

Sometimes I ask myself if I'm actually anything at all giving... when you're really put to the test.

The test was to bring this girl out for a movie, in a cinema with people. I already know my patience is limited, have forgotten to radiate Metta since dropping out of Sun Sch.

Honestly, to me she's annoying. But anyone who see / knows her will sympathize / pity her, and try to be nice. Yes I've always been nice, so nice until she'll call me atleast once a week. She'll talk abt the 2 people that I dont really know.

She kept repeating that she's very boring and she wants me to bring to watch movie, but since I've already watch IceAge, which would be more suitable for her, I brought her to watch MI3.

In the beginning of the show, she ask 'why die already'? (That's the prelude). Then somehow the wife/gf of Ethan is the sister to her. Half way through the show, she starting digging her pocket, and just freaked out suddenly, sitting back, turning to me, in not quite a whispering voice "I lost my wallet!"

Then she pout, like almost going to cry, said to me "can you go and find for me?". (Whaddaya mean NOW?!? no way..). I tried to make her sit still, dont move, and stay calm. I assured her that I will find her wallet AFTER the show is over.

Then she said "got money inside"... how much? RM35. "I very sad".

Anyway, so the show went on, almost towards the end, when Ethan's wife was about to get shot in under a count of 10, she said "I want to go toilet!".

I said "cant you wait? its going to END REALLY SOON". She looked at my tragically again, saying "Nooo... cannot wait, its going to come out!".

*Siggghhh... There was a loud bang coming from the screen, I quietly stood up and shove her out to the door, but how stupid of me that I didn't know I had to push the door open instead of pull (without any handle). So, she knew that I couldn't open the door. Both of us went back to the seat, she had no choice.

Continue watching the show, and I wonder why she's not disturbing me about toilet.

As soon as the movie ends, she stood up and went to the door, saw the guard, and ask the guard "did you see my wallet"?

All I did was to go the back of her seat, and look under -- there it was.

Gave the wallet back to her, she's happy again.

It is freaking me out. I seriously do not have that much of patience in my life. I just suck it in, wondering how to release the steam. Why do I lack compassion when dealing with people like her? Would other normal people 'be as nice' to her and not feel at all distracted?

I know my mom would have aLOT more compassion than me. I wonder if compassion is inborn or developed? How do I develop more compassion inside? If I'm not compassion enough, why do I even answer her call and be so nice to her all the time? Who else will she go bug?

There are sooo many more under priviledge people in this society that we live in, how much care are we giving to them? To what extend that we should give and provide and serve the needy? Talk about volunteering for the UN or any international relief aids organisation... back home in my own backyard, it's already so challenging for me to practise patience and compassion towards freaky people.

Maybe like what Christians would used to say 'God is testing me'. God is testing me to raise my level of patience and to nurture gunuine compassion from within.