My pilgrimage to Borobudor & nice Jogja Trip

This is my immediate post about my trip to Yogyakarta and Borobudor in Central Java, Indonesia. Pictures should be posted at facebook sooner or later, somehow I took toooo many shots, I don't know how to concise it into an hour of picture slideshow at BGF full moon / new moon puja night. What more there's bro Allan and Wfah's camera...

Like a massive photography spree for me, I've set the size to 'steps-medium' mode to fit in as many pictures I could for the 6days travel. The main agenda of the trip was the pilgrimage to Candi Borobudor, which started off from Candi Mendut, followed by Candi Pawat. Even during annual Wesak celebration in Borobudor, devotees will follow through a procession from these 3 Candi aligned in straight path.

Some said that if compared to Angkor Wat, although Angkor Kingdom is huge and more magnificent, but the 'energy' there at Borobudor is better :) Well I didn't agree to it until, I watched the breathtaking sunrise on the morning of 19June at 5.30am, from atop of the Borobudor grand stupa, with such a peaceful mind and heart full of aspiration! It was blissful.

Then as I potong-mega-metta-steam, by clicking my DLSR away... *its annoying you know to fellow meditators around* I think I had to choose between sitting down mindfully with eyes closed or open my eyes and snap pictures endlessly. Guess which I chose? Even after when its all over, they had to circumambulate the main stupa 7 times, mindfully obviously... guess what was I doing? Trying to make my mom pose like superman standing atop of volcano mountain over looking the stupas :P yeah yeah... so I though it wouldn't be complete if I didn't follow exactly what they did... when they were almost finishing they slow walk, I quickly dash around the stupa 7 times, using my fingers to help counting, momentarily stopped to shoot when I saw any amusing sight.

Also note worthy was on the Saga-dawa day of pilgrimage, which was 18June (Tibetan Vesak Day), we chanted and meditated at the East gate of Candi Borobudor with so many Indon visitors on-lookers. It was reallllllly uneasy for me, for people to keep walking infront of us and looking at us. We even made offerings placed on portable table. Yet, everybody just peacefully chanted and infact, I too sat quietly to meditate with eyes closed for that 5-10 mins! Like totally unmoved... *they say the energy there make it easy for you to meditate ah..*

So anyway, what I'm quite impressed is the many muslim visitors hiking up the Buddhist momument, some of them wearing the tudong. It was school holiday for Indonesia, so the kids were all brought to visit this world heritage Buddhist pilgrimage site! Ermm... so sad in Malaysia we won't see Muslim coming to visit temples for the sake of visiting. Infact they even tried to touch the 'lucky' Buddha... obviously for luck. They call it the lucky-Buddha because it was not destroyed when the terrorist put bomb at the 11 stupa at Borobudor. Actually Borobudor was not destroyed during the 2006 earthquake. But I know the logic is that because the foundation of the structure is strong, even more so after UN-backed-million-dollar-restoration effort.

Too bad Candi Prabanam did not get the funding from UN. It was quite hugely destroyed during the earthquake, so much so, we could not enter the candi to visit the interior, but only can view it from outside, that also only the rebuilt of the 6 main candi of the massively destroyed Prambanam temple complex. *imagine Angkor Wat*

I like it, the fact that the Javanese people follow a mix culture of Hinduism-Buddhism-Islam. Even in their Sultan palace showed elements of mix Hindu, Buddhist & Islamic design. *I wasn't paying much attention to what the palace guide was proudly explaining about her culture but I remembered what I liked to hear :P*

Batik! This one I must confess, ok nothing seriously, I love their Jogja geomatrical-flowery Batik floor-tiles-pattern design! So besides snapping pictures of nice floor tiles with pattern, it was impossible to snap pictures of all the pattern on the balik clothes. From shirt, skirt, pyjama, kimono, sandles, pants...etc.

And the price?! VERY CHEAP!!! Imagine coming out from a shop with 4 pieces of nice formal clothing at under RM45. If only I had more money, like Junie said, have to come back to buy their batik kebaya set! Sis. SiewEng did just that, the whole set she bought cost about RM180+, it's classic chic maroonish red made of silk cloth. So authentic. *admire*

Other than Batik, the J.Co doughnut was not cheap, maybe I didn't know the price of it in KL, eating 1/2 dozen J.CO can buy you a nice men batik shirt.

I sat on the 'becak' back to the hotel alone at the last day, at the end of my 'shopping-therapy'. It's like the Penang beca la, except this is more 'teruk', with the old man peddling looking so 'old' and me feeling 'paiseh' that pakcik have to peddle me back to the grand hotel that I stayed. I gave him 10,000 Rupiah for that 1km journey.

The hotel.... for MJ's life record, the most wonderful, nicest, yau-yeng hotel I've ever stayed before... what more for 4 nights -- the Grand Mercure Hotel. Too bad didn't try their buffet dinner at Rp150,000++ its not too expensive la! The hotel rates there are cheaper than the ones in the KL, but you really get 5-star service. I hope they maintain the excellent, friendly and warm service even if Jogja gets more commercialized.

From the bellboy, to the receptionist, to the waiter, to the swimming pool towel boy, housekeeping boy... they all smiled and greeted you with palms put together. I'm really not used to receiving such hospitality. Do they have such nice warm and friendly service in Malaysia?!! I really wonder....

Even the cashier lady said thankyou with such humility, I don't know where to knock my head after nodding my head so many times in the exchange of thankyou. Is it the whole Indonesian culture? Or is it the Javanese culture? Or is it because I really looked like a tourist being fairer than all the locals?

The hotel was so nice, the breakfast was nice, the toilet was nice, the room was cozy, the view outside my balcony was the Gunung Merapi (really with smoke coming out!)... probably the only sad thing was the bbcnews on tv that I tuned in to daily, with news of China flooding filling the air. I don't know what happened in Malaysia. There's no English newspaper to browse. Didn't catch any football matches.

Wait... I noticed MTV Asia Awards coming to "M" Malaysia? HELLO!?! When did that happened? Ok its coming soon in August? Sponsored by Tourism Malaysia? MALAYSIA?!?! I wanna go! I wanna go! *make aspiration*

The one thing I did or I took home from this amazing travel, was 'making aspiration' and be thankful for the people I have whom I love and love me. Sis. Julie said "if you dont make aspiration, you won't be able to make it!" *we were indulging in our 5-star-hotel morning breakfast as we contemplate on people couldn't be with us on this trip & how we managed to visit Europe at the certain age that you wanted to*

What you want to be, where you want to go... make aspiration. Well... for this 'pilgrimage trip', it was easy to make spiritual aspiration too.. like want to attain the state of "Enlightened Mind". *fuiyoh... since when I last aspired to want to reach Nirvana?!*

But I really did chanted the englishy mantra.... something something attain "Enlightened Mind"... as I read it, I really tried to mean it... like whoaah.... imagine if I attained the "Enlightened Mind".

That's all for now... you'll know where to see my pictures ;)

The underground INCOVAR Culture

Was b***hing with a few of them last night... and the part when we came up with ideas for the 'sketch'... SIOW!! It was so funny... have not been laughing so hard with the bunch of elderly INCOVARians.

I hope when the 'actors' were recruited from the younger people for the SS sketch, they too may relate to the SS-ness of the whole idea! Don't even need Uncle VJ for that.

Then KNS with his KNS theory said "you know Syiok-Sendiri should be inside the INCOVAR culture!"

Totally agree... can we amend the LUSA / VMGO documentation to include this declaration? Also, from KNS theory "if there's no communication between people, how to Syiok Sendiri?"

So comittees should have inter & intra portfolio communication, and then this SS-ness can just pop out like that!

Brace yourself for the sassiest wry humourous sketch on 6th September! On the "Amigos Para Siempre" INCOVAR Dinner & Dance.

:)

My busy weekend

Out of my whole weekend which includes a yoga, a revelation meeting, 1 fellowship dinner, 1 bday dinner, 1 poolside party, 1 movie outing, 1 sunday school, 2 lunches...

Yes, I am rather sleepy now. I couldn't even wakeup biologically this morning.

What's coming up next? 1 post-mortem meeting, 1 rtm meeting, settle the volunteers for WIFF (under BGF), settle the signage for WIFF for Sat morning, think of when to replace 3 yoga lessions, settle the sunsch newsletter articles... all before I fly off to Borobudor next Tuesday? (I haven't even mention about my work stuff).

Notably, the poolside party looked fun esp for the SS guys who dunked themselves into the pool shirtless. I cannot imagine myself being flung into the pool by people... almost got 'carried' by my UPM guy-coursemates at Redang.. but I surely would not allow that to happen. It's so not me. Oh not because I can't swim, I must wear swimsuit and springboard jump into the pool by myself - thank you.



Bday party -- for Tym at Good Evening Bangkok -- the food was soooooo spicy I could gulp the whole swimming pool of icy cold water! But that won't help... I forgot abt 'sugar', all I could do was just leave my jaws open and taaahaaannnnnn..... I "chewed" pedas green cili-padi thinking it's chopped green leaf. Although I still like Thai food, very unique. *reminiscence of Ayuthaya laksa*

(so terrible picture, how to forgive the waiter?!)

(atleast somebody know how to hold the camera properly)


"Kungfu Panda" was nice & so Dhamma :) you could almost repeat after master Oogway "the past is history, the future is a mystery, the present is a gift - that's why its called the present." Alot of Dhamma about 'hunger' and 'desire'... being happy with yourself. Definitely my Sunday Dhamma school can use this cartoon video in the library to teach the kids.

Out of all the happenings for me over the weekend, what I loved most, or what I really felt 'at peace' most was the outcome of the revelation meeting accompanied by sayang. Not to be shared here.

What I could share here though was the solution for the Sban twin's problematic friend, I took the liberty to get the girl's pat-ji to seek help on Sban twin's behalf (they're very caring towards their friend). What I found out is that, the problem girl couldn't help herself, she needs the warmth guidance from her friends *yeah me included although I really wish I'm not involved* to lead her back to the worldly path filled with love. The girl's mind is now very deluded, even medication might not help her fully. I thought : why do I have to help her? Is it our karma? The answer : it is not your karma, it is your opportunity to help a friend in need.

Ok finish crapping. Must focus my mind at work, focus to complete all the task in my mind. Not get agitated by s****d people.

which is worse?

*imagine your mom waiting frantically for hours, kept calling you & yet failing to get hold of the driver* Which is worse?
"Oops! I forgot to pick up your mom!" or
"....she didn't say have to pick her up?!"

~ aspire to inspire ~

It's now office hour and I'm trying to blog about the camp that's just over about 24hours ago. At about this time yesterday, CO announced something infront of everyone that made my tears roll. Geee... that was unexpected and as blur as I am, it didn't occur to me that those pink stick-ons were meant for me, yeah I saw participants doing it.

Anyway, the camp was not about me. It's about change. I can relate to it superficially and subconsciously. Being a stubborn white-hat person that I am, its quite pointless to me sometimes when you ask me about the whole camp objectives. But that's not for me to argue, its for the programmers to choose and decide.

As pathetically neutral as I am, the ixp was irrelevant to me. I am neither here nor there. I have to admit it, I didn't do a good job in ixp faci-ing, although it was mind-blowing to my mentee who really didn't know how the get the ball rolling to make the participants talk. It was very tough job for this ixp because the prompting questions were so wuliow that even I could not answer it. If I was the participant being asked those questions, I would outrightly d'oh-ed the faci on the spot.

What was the thing in the past that I wish I could change?
If given a second chance, what would I do differently?
What's the effect of the change?

Like so doh... (this is solely my opinion, as I am who I am pls don't take offend). I would answer the same way as one of the participant in my group -- I never look back and regret the decisions made in the past. I would not intentionally hurt people. I never try to hurt myself. What is there in my past that I would change?!

The trigger was not strong enough to make me feel regret or strike me that I should have been nicer to my mom. This was my sharing when I was a participant before during the ixp. Will I change to become even nicer to my mom now? Err... you come become my mom's only daughter la.

So with regards to my present life now, and what this camp means to me, on a selfish note, it means the end of me being chairperson. I really wish to move on from IDC which doesn't mean moving away. It's just letting the younger people run the show entirely on their own without needing me to push people.

To accept change, to truly understand change, I must allow change.

On a financial note, I must change my spending style if I were to commit to a property. I cannot see how Buddha's financial theory can ever be applied in my life. 1/4 to spend, 1/4 to save, 2/4 for investment. Should insurance be considered saving or investment? Is buying own-home a saving or investment?

Anyway.. that's about it for now. Really not much to say about the camp. Somebody approached me and say "congrats mj, its a really nice camp!" Hmmm... well I thought nice is not good enough (for me).

How do I measure success of idc? When all committees are not bickering about each other, when all committees can see eye to eye and love each other truly, when everyone can eat / sleep / dream the incovar culture ~ then would I say the camp has truly met my aspiration.

~we aspire to inspire the aspiration for inspiration to aspire to inspire~

engrish country vs msian kampung wedding

I have 2 BBC distant cousin sisters. Those years, going to england to pursue nursing is like a dream job for my mom and people her generation. My mom was not allowed to go. Her cousin brother, lets call uncle wong and his wife (family from a really small village near Taiping) went ahead.

Fast forward to 2008. This evening, I attended their eldest daughter wedding dinner at a chinese restaurant. Her wedding reception and church wedding at Oxford with her gweilo husband was so... as englishy-country as you can ever imagine.

The thing abt my maternal grandma side of the family is they're all very close, and they like to have big family gatherings, and there will be lotsa noise and yakking and comparing and ... noise. Well old people actually appreciate noise. What's kampung-grown-family-reunion without the noise?

Uncle wong was so dramatic when one of his niece started to get ready for a kiddie-chinese-karaoke song, on stage. He practically shoo-ed them off stage. *cut it off*

Since appalling karaoke was a no-no to the englishy-people, and there was also no background music, not even pop ballads to fill the air. It was so odd, the wedding dinner, organised by the father whose probably afraid of scaring his son-in-law off. My parents and I were even contemplating on going up to the stage to grab the mic and ask for a thankyou speech from uncle wong.

There was no sign of the couple going on stage to make a yum-seng toast. I subtlely suggested to the other uncle wong that I volunteer to take group photo for each table, with the couple going round to each table.

Ahh... almost at the last dish... the newly-wed couple got up and went to the nearest table, thinking to take group photo, but everybody at the table stood up lifting their glass of tea or wine... and after I've finished snapping the group-table photo, they just instantly go "Yaaaaammmmm SENG"!

I think that must have caught the gweilo by surprised! I hear him asking how to say the word... he learnt quickly... and smiling... they went round to all other tables doing the same thing. Then the mood of the whole dinner begun to lighten up. With more cheers, louder laughing, the out-doing other table in shouting Yaaammm SENG!

It's not so bad afterall, my dad mumbled. The gweilo is enjoying himself!

And the horrible thing happened, one of the I-think-I-can-sing-very-well uncle from another family went up the stage to sing Karaoke in cantonese and hokkien songs. I think he did it on purpose. I guess uncle wong cannot control anymore -- what's a chinese kampung family wedding dinner without karaoke sung horribly by a loud uncle?

Yet, all eyes were on the 'entertainer' on stage. Old ppl were smiling, my grandma was even clapping her hand away. One of the song he sang was "cha-siao-bao"... go figure.

There's nothing much Vanessa talked about with me, when I went over to sit beside her to try to chat up. She's the only cousin from my maternal grandma family, who's about my age. Who got married first (for my generation). The rest of the cousins are toddlers, in primary & sec school, and a few school leavers.

She managed to show me her wedding pictures taken back in England (you gotta pronounced it the British way), I definitely must rave about the bride's hand bouquet in the photo, the colour combination is similar to this pic and added with calla lily flowing to the front.

I asked "how much did this bridal bouquet cost?"
"300 pound. It's by a designer florist. And the whole floral package including the table arrangements, the bridemaid's bouquet & corsages turned out to be 1000 pound."

*grasp* Wong Mun Yee where are you?! Should you go UK to do your floral design business?!

So on this wesak-eve, I attended the weirdest family wedding dinner ever.

I'm most intrigued by the differences in the wedding couple's family background.

Mom said (of course it has to come from my mom, she's the #1 kaypoh of the entire clan) the husband comes from a rich reputable scholarly family, the grandfather is a professor at Oxford Uni, their family lives in a big mansion. Their wedding reception was held at their own beautiful garden. Husband is a Catholic, so they exchanged vows in her own Oxford Harry-Potter-liked hostel church.

So intrigued, I replied "my grandfather was a book seller!" and my dad greefully add on "oh yes my father was once a lorry driver too!"

And looking at my mom I said "my other grandpa was a taxi driver!" My parents both laughed.

Through the years of knowing Vanessa and her younger sister Charlotte, should I be envious of them? Both sisters graduated from Oxford uni, Vanessa is now a medical doctor and Charlotte graduated as a lawyer now based in London. I onced enquired (sometime ago), the first year of her practise as lawyer, her pay would be as high as my then Accenture manager, after converting pound to ringgit.

Nah... not envious. Cos we're just from two very different world. Imagine during the dinner, my family of four, were assigned to the same table as another family, who all cannot speak English and were very lowly educated. I couldn't even explain in chinese language what do I work as. I tried say IT services in chinese... "tian nao fu wu" all of them were turning head... one even try to clarify.. "you install computer?" ... ahh yes I said... and also "repair when people make phone call". Ohh..... they could finally figure out. The guy beside me exclaimed he's working as "repair photostate machine". Ahhh.... it was as awkward talking to my relatives from this lowly-educated family vs as astounding talking to Vanessa's family.

Chinese saying ~ compare with the higher, you have less; compare with the lower, you have more.

Be thankful, be happy, living the moment. Happy Wesak Day!

Just typical of ppl? Or its just me.

You know what I can't stand abt certain ppl, when you're lining up to pick your dish / vege, like lining up to buy 'economy-rice', the people infront of you will take their own sweet time, to pick and choose, and pick and choose, and think.. errm... put the soy sauce on the rice, then cover the egg on the rice, then put the soysauce on the egg... then since its same price wether you take 1 saugage or 3 sausages, might as well take all 3 of it.. and tell your friends about it..

and you're there standing behind - waiting. You know how fast I scoop my rice and add the telor with some ikan bilis and cucumber and pay?

The world is testing my patience.

Townhouse

Just as I thought I could never find any link for this townhouse that I viewed last Saturday, *phew* here's one. The agent have her own blog! :P(the ground flr unit we saw with hse no. 8-1)

Ok this info is also for my friend who's hoping to be my new neighbour! wakakaka... (at time of blogging, I stil don't know what's the developer name)

And why was it so hard for me to FIND any info from google?! Cos I was searching for "Merdu Impian" the name is actually "Merdu Idaman" DOH!!!

Found a link to the architect.

Basically the look & feel is cool, modern nice looking... wait until you hear this :: Maintenance Fee is rm0.15/ft2. Whoah.. like built-up of 1500ft2 is RM225!

If monthly loan repayment is RM1400, have to add another RM225 every month.

~*~

Anyway, here's some info abt townhouses ::

The fact is that there are two types of townhouse & both are on residential land :
1. without facilities
2. comes with facilities (what we saw is this!!)

(1)
- link hse bldg design
- Each lot will have two strata titles (subdivided into lower & upper unit).
- Maintenance of common areas are under Local Authorities.
- Besides assessment fee there is no maintenance fees & sinking fund
- Billing of water & elec will be just like for other houses.
- ie. Townhouse @ Hartamas, Bangsar & Sec 7 Shah Alam.

(2)
- Either link hse or apt/condo bldg design
- One block title will be subdivided into strata titles for the # of units in the development.
- Maintenance of common areas are under property mgmt.
- Maintenance fees & sinking fund are payable apart from assessment fee.
- With facilities such as security, sports, lavish soft & hardscape, etc.
- Perimeter fencing.
- No alteration to bldg facade is allowed.
- Billing of elec will be just like other houses.
- Billing of water is similar to apt/condo in which SYABAS will issue a bill on the bulk meter to prop mgmt. Subsequently, billing of household usage is done by prop mgmt based on sub-meter reading.*
- ie. Townhouse @ Sunway Damansara, TTDI & Templer Park Resort.

Can I disappear?

You know how annoying it is when my aunties are around. Mother's day dinner is just over. They are still complaining about the vege dishes esp the one the captain recommended -- green chili. Sighh... somehow I found similarity btwn D and my spinster aunts. If I can't stand my mom 5x, I think I can't stand my aunts 10x. I know I shouldn't say bad things abt my own family, but its very very very very brrrr... I'm counting the time now, see how long they're STILL going to "talk" about the "dinner" being expensive / wait too long / weird dishes / unexpected / could have gone to Kepong / should have gone to Malay restaurant.

"mj! why the room got so many mosquito?"
"what has the room with so many mosquito gotta do with me?"

"mj! where is the whiteboard? why didn't put it back after use?"
"its upstairs just bring it down" (*im physically at another far corner of the city, don't even think of asking me to come over to rescue*)

"ah joon-ah! why choose this restaurant? why order this fry green chili?"
"its not me, ask my parents."

"ah joon-ah! are you going to pay the bill? how are we going to split the bill? count by per head minus grandma?"
"my dad will pay, my mom will count."

"You buy this BodyShop gift for me, so expensive why you buy?"

(*its a mother's day gift, I know its so easy to buy u, just by buying u a gift, and don't ask me why expensive I buy??!!!?!*)

Sometimes, I do wish I can vanish from the face of this earth.

~*~

On another note, I had this visual of my own funeral, no its not a sad one, I was trying to 'scare' ppl off while lying dead in the coffin suddenly I 'awaken' and go "boo!" LOL *crazy*

Then I thought, I could not do that unless I'm not dead. Brrrr.... So anyway, first night-wake will have Theravada monks chanting, 2nd night Tibetan lama chanting, 3rd day morning Mahayana monks chanting. During the 1st night, there'll be Buddhist friends coming over to sing hymns... (I thought why is it so christian-style funeral?) but nevermind, it'll be cool to have nice sweet melodious igemz sing-along-songs, ie. my beautiful friend, blessings, thankful...

I think my parents going to go nutz over my imaginative-funeral.

~*~

I want to sort so many things out during this 2 months...
- making sure every committee do all the things they are supposed to do for idc without having me imaginatively pull my hair.
- don't lose my cool no matter what.
- aspire for capable leader(s) to emerge to carry on with the idc torch run.
- try to complete the bisds newsletter before I go Borobudor.
- try to maintain my strenght at work to solve unavoidable stupid problems before I can wholeheartedly quit.
- try to get volunteers for wiff happening in june.
- try to follow up with new bgf initiatives. (bgf yearly calendar? incovar website? D&D publicity? membership card? bunting?)
- follow up with bisds story telling, chanting, hymn singing competitions happening in july.
- organise bisds zone 7 (staff from PJ) fellowship dinner.
- go to Borobudor retreat with a peaceful mind and free heart, 2 weeks after idc.

~*~

May my heart be peaceful & free.
May my mind be happy.
May my body be healthy.
May I be well & happy.

+ve begets +ve

In this blog post after the IGC, I wanted to share something that I had no chance to ask.. well I almost wanted to ask bro WF when he was explaining how to tackle office politics... he said "Nah! May you be well and happy!"

Err... I'm not sure if I really got that. How can I taichi back to an arsehole and still say 'may u be well and happy' and mean it? Did he mean it when he said it? Dr. Ong definitely encouraged us and really want us to mean it...

Maybe I'm afterall a beginner in Metta meditation... or I've lost touch with radiating metta (to enemies), I find it so hard to genuinely imagine ^%^%$#@% of my office and smile and send metta sincerely to them. Bro THC said we should try to avoid 2-face ppl, as Buddha even said don't associate with the fools. Did Buddha also mean don't bother to send metta to fools? But we're disassociating with them... so why still bother send them metta?

Then I assess myself... and the secret work... how positive begets positive... why I don't feel / think positive at work... due to my own speech... because I've hardly give positive speech or think positively abt fools. Yes... unfortunetly I never took AT's career philosophy "never let anything happen by chance". The stupid reason that I'm staying in this company although surrounded with fools... is due to the convenient distance. Then when faced with unavoidable office politics and working alongside 2-face ppl.... I subconsciously prevented myself from having metta and peace towards all beings. I let "chance" put me in situation where I find it extremely tough to send positive vibes towads work-people. And with law of karma - what goes around comes around -- so I can't expect or blame it why other ppl always have the luck / opportunity while I don't!

If I follow the way of nature, or universal law... of positive begets positive... I must say nice things to ppl... (no matter hoooooooowwwwww HAARRRDDDDD) then more ppl will reciprocate! Even for ppl who's never met me but have to deal with me thru phone and emails... The law will conspire its forces to make me more likeable and be less of a threat to ppl... and eventually make my whole working life wonderful & rewarding!

You know all these while... all I do is to avoid shooting people... avoid saying nasty things.. controlling myself from not kutuk ppl... so it's not bad but there's nothing good! How do I learn to compliment people, how do I learn to speak with tact & empathy, how to say things that people like to hear, how to advise people nicely without making ppl deem stupid...

It's like investing in the merit-bank, I've not put in any positive merits but I also stay out of debts, which means... the merit-bank account is still zero. It's not negative neither its positive! If I wanna hope and wish and aim to be positive-energy-rich... I must invest with the right positive effort! Do more dana, speak more good words (& try to mean it)....

Bro. THC asked "at the end of the day, what do you want OUT of your life?" not so much on what do you want in life.

I guess to answer that -- that's why I am where I am today ;)

*i remember when I was young & naive, all I wanted was to become a UN volunteer, and to achieve that (coming from a middle-class family), I must work very hard to earn lotsa money to support myself when I don't get a salary in being a volunteer, enough money to support me up till old age -- so I wished I was rich*