I wanted to share about my interesting experience over the weekend. I try very much not to tell people that we attended a wake before and after a wedding in Melaka. Cos people may 'pantang'... but I guess being Buddhist, there's nothing to 'pantang' about.
The morning religious wedding ceremony was quite symbolic, with puja + chanting + hymn singing & blessing by a monk. Only a little weird cos everyone else had to stand up through out the whole ceremony including the monk except the bride & groom... Doh! So being restless, I'll walk around trying to take pictures lah... was trying out the new 50mm lense which is a problem if I try to compete with other fellow photographers all blocking my view while shooting for an 'event'. Maybe it's really meant for object/model shooting purpose only.
After the religious & tea ceremony, there's a long afternoon break to spend time before going for the wedding dinner. So me, myee & sisV tag along to ddvw's dad wake, which is actually not far away. Coincidently rev. Mahinda coming at 2pm for blessing... which turn out to be a blessing + meditation + short Dhamma talk... fuiyo that's very meaningful for a Buddhist wake / funeral. No chang chang noise, no crying, no sadness... just smiles and reflections. Rev Mahinda shared about his experience teaching Dhamma to his mother and how his mom practised the Dhamma, how she overcome the pain while suffering from cancer before her passing. Also talked about sharing of merits.
I came dressed in a dress white+black in colour, so it was fancy enough for a wedding event, also sombre enough for the wake. Bf dressed in blue+brown, while sisV attire was blue+white... so we were like ever ready to attend both wedding & funeral!
At night the wedding dinner was most fun! It was sort of a peranakan wedding, a peranakan wedding must have music/band and joget! That's what I heard from MODians... and wow it is true. It didn't take long before I was also part of the syiok-sendiri people tapping their shoes happily at the parquet dance platform... at some point, I was 'dancing' with NW's 2yo kid... yeah the boy can be really cute when you forget that he's naughty. He kept coming back to pull me out from my chair to go the dance floor! It's like he's done it before in his past life... I didn't dress in the nyonya kebaya unlike many of the locals there. Found out that the nyonya kebaya blouse is EXPENSIVE!
Many people danced along at the wedding dinner, to golden oldies played with e-keyboard that you'll never hear it at a trendy KL/PJ hotel wedding dinner. The fun part is how the very young and the very old all came together to dance naturally! Only the not-so-young-but-not-so-old people watching ;)
I felt like I'm attending a 'Malaysian' wedding dinner of the Tunku Abdul Rahman era. They say baba-nyonya people is actually a minority group in Melaka, they're neither chinese nor malay.... maybe they're just Malaysian!
So what happen to the 2nd funeral? Well that's the boy who stayed along the same street as me.. whose funeral is also Sunday. By the time I reach home from Melaka, it was almost 11am... and Myee made the turn from the main road to my house, which incidently head-on with the hearse. That's my last chance to send metta to the deceased... his family members were lining up ready to 'send' him off.
My eyes instantly went wet.
As I reached home, I came to know that he was only diagnosed with leukaemia a month ago. He had a girlfriend of 2 years. His medical bills surged to 100k.
My interesting weekend taught me a great learning experience and there's alot of Dhamma in it. I was happy and contended. I hope I can maintain this simple blissful state of mind through out my journey of life, but impermanence is the truth of life.
*can you imagine that at my funeral, all my incovar friends will be standing around singing cheerfully 'Truth of Life' with hands movements & actions... and all my relatives / other friends will look at you one kind - you siow ah?*
Monday, September 22, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
What will be will be...
There is always good side, bad side. The ups and the down. After spending time with sayang for my fancy bday dinner, I return home to see a neighbour house nearby with tents setup & coffin in the middle, with a picture of young fella wearing the graduation gown in the middle.
Hmm... couldn't be the same boy whom used to sit the same bus with me to school?
Buzz my other primary school mate living on the same street, yeah she's already at the wake service, it was her ex-primary school classmate. I don't know the boy well, but my mom know his mom, and we're the same age. Mom likes to 'tell story' about other ppl's children.
He died of leukaemia.
Should I hop over to pay my last respect? Should I wait for my mom to come home to go together? Now that mom is back, mom ask me "what should I say to the mother when I go see her? When I know the mother will be so sad her son died?"
No words could come out.... *tears rolling down my cheek*
Just continue be thankful that I'm alive still today, on my birthday.
Hmm... couldn't be the same boy whom used to sit the same bus with me to school?
Buzz my other primary school mate living on the same street, yeah she's already at the wake service, it was her ex-primary school classmate. I don't know the boy well, but my mom know his mom, and we're the same age. Mom likes to 'tell story' about other ppl's children.
He died of leukaemia.
Should I hop over to pay my last respect? Should I wait for my mom to come home to go together? Now that mom is back, mom ask me "what should I say to the mother when I go see her? When I know the mother will be so sad her son died?"
No words could come out.... *tears rolling down my cheek*
Just continue be thankful that I'm alive still today, on my birthday.
Couldn't resist?
Couldn't resist not writing a word on about my bday? Well actually its just the start of the day call eighteen-september. I share the same bday with szehuey.
I just had a family bday dinner with my parents & myee's parents... together same table! No of course its not 'table talk' whatever you call it. My bday is always a reminder to me to be and feel extremely thankful for my family, my karma, my blessings. I wish I can share it with other less lucky people, but I don't know how to take some of my blessings away for others to have it.
I'm so lucky, I have 2 families to celebrate bday for me... even at age, the last year being 'twenty-something'. My grandma also came for the dinner & also gave me angpow *paiseh*... think the custom now is bday eve with family, bday with sayang.
Lucky not going to meet my ahyee-s this weekend, or else sure they'll wat me for makan lagi.
If I could have one wish for my birthday, and if birthday wishes do come true... I really wish that my country is going to remain peaceful whilst surviving good positive change. There will not be anymore ISA scare. May all the leaders of today have more wisdom and compassion.
May people with good intentions & wisdom overcome people with illwill.
~ For hatred is not overcome by hatred, hatred is overcome by love. ~ Dhammapada
I just had a family bday dinner with my parents & myee's parents... together same table! No of course its not 'table talk' whatever you call it. My bday is always a reminder to me to be and feel extremely thankful for my family, my karma, my blessings. I wish I can share it with other less lucky people, but I don't know how to take some of my blessings away for others to have it.
I'm so lucky, I have 2 families to celebrate bday for me... even at age, the last year being 'twenty-something'. My grandma also came for the dinner & also gave me angpow *paiseh*... think the custom now is bday eve with family, bday with sayang.
Lucky not going to meet my ahyee-s this weekend, or else sure they'll wat me for makan lagi.
If I could have one wish for my birthday, and if birthday wishes do come true... I really wish that my country is going to remain peaceful whilst surviving good positive change. There will not be anymore ISA scare. May all the leaders of today have more wisdom and compassion.
May people with good intentions & wisdom overcome people with illwill.
~ For hatred is not overcome by hatred, hatred is overcome by love. ~ Dhammapada
Monday, September 15, 2008
Very sleepy still...
It's Monday 15/9 about 10 days till my last day in my current company. I'm still excited that I'm finally going to have a "India" stamp on my passport this coming 27/9.
It's Monday morning, I don't have my mobile phone with me, think I left it inside sayang car. Don't care either cos my eyes still feel like sleeping.
It was a busy weekend starting off with yoga on Sat morning, till running off to K with the gals, then jam through jln kewajipan to PutraHeights to see coursemate's 2weeks-old baby, then getting home to change & adjourn to Vihara for Bodhi Puja bringing along 2 of my Buddhist Indon cllg... who were very excited over visiting my grandma after Puja.
Sat night with my Indon friends also very wuliow.... never thought I'd ever comment anything about them... but they're just "different" not in a good nor bad way. Just quite draining for me to keep up to their 'obidience' towards 'old people'. They insisted on buying mooncake for my grandma... on the way to Vihara, at Paramount, the only lantern shop I know, was selling mooncake -- there.
"Oh I don't know if these are good you know, you have to buy something good for your grandma!"
Fine so what is GOOD mooncake?
"I heard of Tai Thong?"
OK, what about this Overseas brand, also famous right... just like Tai Thong another restaurant chain.
"But I've not heard of Overseas before, don't know if it is good, it won't be good if you buy something not good for your grandma."
Practising my patience, we went to temple first... finish Puja... went back to PJ area... I thought about Giant supermarket... surely got a variety of mooncake to choose.
"Supermarket?! You know how low quality are the mooncakes in supermarket?"
Heelo?!?! This cannot that cannot... must purposely drive to TaiThong to get the mooncake for you meh... Giant is on the way to my grandma house mah... and somemore you don't know what brand of mooncake my grandma likes...
Anyway yadayada... we finally reached my grandma hse for super late dinner. I was so hungry. There both of them so obidiently chatting happily with my grandma in hokkien, their mother tongue.
They showed me good example of how we must respect old people and treat old people with utmost respect. Money cannot compare with 'grandma' (since I was telling them buying mooncakes is actually very expensive).
But they also made me pusing here pusing there... send them here send them there... kept justifying about the things to buy... for my grandma. Siggh... that's my grandma, who actually pampers her own grandchildren... if my grandma don't eat, the food goes to her grandchildren -- my cousins & me, anyway! (They just don't get it...)
Sunday, another crazy day :
- 7.30am woke up get ready to Vihara
- 8.30am get all the goodies from Vn hse to upload to bus
- 9.30am 7 busses departed to FRIM
- 10.30am start to hide all the 'treasure' for the kids to hunt later
- 11.00am the sun was shining sooooooooooooooooo brightly, it's very very hot for all of us to be running about at the open field. At one point, I was just repeatedly throwing-catching ball with one tiny boy who couldn't fit in with the taller boys in monkey-catch-ball game.
- 12.00pm everybody cannot tahan the heat, all went to miserable waterfall with very little water to play.
After lunch, treasure hunt, packing... all 7 buses went back to Vihara again... sayang was waiting for me already... to bring me to Melaka!
His friend's wedding... during the whole dinner, my eyes were so droopy, while enjoying a lil playing tricks with my dlsr, I was also feeling sooooooooo tired. The whole journey back to KL from melaka was asleep in the car.
Next weekend another crazy spree... with whole day wedding thingy at Melaka (again?!).
Sometimes you wonder if having many friends is such a good idea! *Doh*
It's Monday morning, I don't have my mobile phone with me, think I left it inside sayang car. Don't care either cos my eyes still feel like sleeping.
It was a busy weekend starting off with yoga on Sat morning, till running off to K with the gals, then jam through jln kewajipan to PutraHeights to see coursemate's 2weeks-old baby, then getting home to change & adjourn to Vihara for Bodhi Puja bringing along 2 of my Buddhist Indon cllg... who were very excited over visiting my grandma after Puja.
Sat night with my Indon friends also very wuliow.... never thought I'd ever comment anything about them... but they're just "different" not in a good nor bad way. Just quite draining for me to keep up to their 'obidience' towards 'old people'. They insisted on buying mooncake for my grandma... on the way to Vihara, at Paramount, the only lantern shop I know, was selling mooncake -- there.
"Oh I don't know if these are good you know, you have to buy something good for your grandma!"
Fine so what is GOOD mooncake?
"I heard of Tai Thong?"
OK, what about this Overseas brand, also famous right... just like Tai Thong another restaurant chain.
"But I've not heard of Overseas before, don't know if it is good, it won't be good if you buy something not good for your grandma."
Practising my patience, we went to temple first... finish Puja... went back to PJ area... I thought about Giant supermarket... surely got a variety of mooncake to choose.
"Supermarket?! You know how low quality are the mooncakes in supermarket?"
Heelo?!?! This cannot that cannot... must purposely drive to TaiThong to get the mooncake for you meh... Giant is on the way to my grandma house mah... and somemore you don't know what brand of mooncake my grandma likes...
Anyway yadayada... we finally reached my grandma hse for super late dinner. I was so hungry. There both of them so obidiently chatting happily with my grandma in hokkien, their mother tongue.
They showed me good example of how we must respect old people and treat old people with utmost respect. Money cannot compare with 'grandma' (since I was telling them buying mooncakes is actually very expensive).
But they also made me pusing here pusing there... send them here send them there... kept justifying about the things to buy... for my grandma. Siggh... that's my grandma, who actually pampers her own grandchildren... if my grandma don't eat, the food goes to her grandchildren -- my cousins & me, anyway! (They just don't get it...)
Sunday, another crazy day :
- 7.30am woke up get ready to Vihara
- 8.30am get all the goodies from Vn hse to upload to bus
- 9.30am 7 busses departed to FRIM
- 10.30am start to hide all the 'treasure' for the kids to hunt later
- 11.00am the sun was shining sooooooooooooooooo brightly, it's very very hot for all of us to be running about at the open field. At one point, I was just repeatedly throwing-catching ball with one tiny boy who couldn't fit in with the taller boys in monkey-catch-ball game.
- 12.00pm everybody cannot tahan the heat, all went to miserable waterfall with very little water to play.
After lunch, treasure hunt, packing... all 7 buses went back to Vihara again... sayang was waiting for me already... to bring me to Melaka!
His friend's wedding... during the whole dinner, my eyes were so droopy, while enjoying a lil playing tricks with my dlsr, I was also feeling sooooooooo tired. The whole journey back to KL from melaka was asleep in the car.
Next weekend another crazy spree... with whole day wedding thingy at Melaka (again?!).
Sometimes you wonder if having many friends is such a good idea! *Doh*
Friday, September 12, 2008
Will righteousness prevail?
What is happening with the government? Do you all really believe that when you do good, you will get good return? A part of me feels that all the sandiwara happening now is very related to the DSAI & pakatan rakyat seriousness/possibility in accomplishing the take over... and there's soooo much for BN rich politicians to lose. I think now the situation is like a battle of btwn the virtuous vs the corrupt... who will win? Do you have faith in Malaysia overcoming righteousness?
(im not saying anwar is holy or nik aziz is pure or LKS is heavenly.... I just know that they're not very rich and they don't become politicians for you-know-what reason)
Why would a poor fella wanna risk everything to be in jail?
Why would another fella wanna go all out to put another poor fella in jail without trial?
Why would any (ethical) foreign investors wanna invest in Malaysia if they know Malaysia can put somebody in jail without trial?
Is it really so hard to turn from bad to good? What does it take to challenge / embrace real positive change?
(im not saying anwar is holy or nik aziz is pure or LKS is heavenly.... I just know that they're not very rich and they don't become politicians for you-know-what reason)
Why would a poor fella wanna risk everything to be in jail?
Why would another fella wanna go all out to put another poor fella in jail without trial?
Why would any (ethical) foreign investors wanna invest in Malaysia if they know Malaysia can put somebody in jail without trial?
Is it really so hard to turn from bad to good? What does it take to challenge / embrace real positive change?
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
"ZAIA"
Of all the usual stuff that you can expect from my 2nd Hong Kong & Macao trip, there is one thing that I almost forgot to blog about! I must not forget that munyee's abang belanja me to watch this fantastic "show" I've ever seen in my life -- Cirque du Soleil. And the first ever show to be staged in Asia at none other the Venetian Macao with the largest casino in the world!
Not that I'm proud of being at Asia's biggest gambling city (I really didn't feel any spiritual energy here)... but I have to blog about this "ZAIA" Cirque du Soleil that, before this I was so jakun... I've never heard of it!
What circus? What broadway musical? What umbrella flying & cycling in the air? Hmm... ro begin with, I'm not a circus person and I don't understand clown (not scared) just look at clown like -- Doh.
But I'm still overwhelmed by the super yau yeng innovation & engineering that a 'stage' could be built with. The big globe suspending from the high ceiling can motion front and back... the feature-girl can swing to all directions while hanging in the air... the swift transformation of the stage from one scene to another... artistic digital visuals as the backdrop...
Just technically speaking -- I'm bought. Though abit paiseh I did doze off in the middle of some parts when the artistes were just circling or rotating or jumping endlessly.
Click here for photos. You must click here to view the video clip to get a feel of what I'm trying to describe.Other than this extravagant expensive show, I didn't see much the hotel... was rushing through one of the lobby to another wing of the lobby... passed through the casino floor which was really... supremely spacious. I wonder where all the gamblers came from?
When I say no spiritual energy... I'm trying to mean that the greed energy is very strong for the whole city, it has diluted spirituality / religious practises (if there's any).
Friday, September 05, 2008
Career & Trip in 1 story
Today.. back to office after 5days in HK-Macao... while my teamlead is still on leave... I tender my resignation letter to the manager in line. During lunch time, quickly hop on the lrt to jamek to return offer letter to the bank-company duly signed. Ya will be joining a bank IT division probably supporting similar stuff... which I'm actually quite uncertain what it's all about. The interviewer was non-technical manager... and I'm to replace another girl who left. And I wonder if there's gonna be anybody to handover to me if the previous staff already left! The non-technical manager would probably expect to pick up everything by myself eh?! What more... she's looking for a thinker not just a doer!
Anyway, shall not let my mind wonder off too far... just like what I read about current Malaysian political front -- there's no uncertainty only opportunity. Nobody know for sure if DSAI will be the next PM, everybody just wish that something good will come out of the whole situation. Just like my job / career, nobody will know if new company will be good for my future... just expect the least, and hope for the best!
So now what about my HK trip?! Why people seem to like to ask this question. Maybe I'll be more excited if I came back from Europe or volunteering for beijing olympics... somehow, I'm just thankful and glad to be back home to Malaysia.
It was my 2nd trip to HK... which I was hesitating to go in the first place... because I've ALREADY backpacked travel HK-macao before 2 years old during xmas season. What could top that? I've come to acknowledge that travelling during summer / or extremely hot weather is a NO NO! In my 1st trip to HK-macao, I was freezing... in this trip, I was sweating like mad! The heat just took away half of the fun of sight-seeing / walking.
And my legs are itching.... got lotsa red spots like alergy or rashes, and sometimes I couldn't stop scratching it... already got ugly legs now tambah lagi red polka dots... no need to wear skirt liow. Lagi DnD besok... Might be due to the trip to Lantau island, Tai-O fishing village... I saw some tiny insects resting on my legs and I didn't bother to shoo it away. So hot and tired, I was trying to fan myself more than be bothered why the legs are itchy.
Abang stayed in this really fancy high-rise condo on the HK island by the sea side... the balcony overlooking the old airport and other side of HK. Pretty amazing sight from high up 69th floor but not inspiring enough... that I feel like I miss Malaysia!!!
I miss the roticanai & dal... the thosai and milo... they don't have my basic favourite food?! No MILO?! No nasi lemak.. no roti canai.. no sambal... eat dimsum without sauce... I've had enuff of wonton-mee with wonton full of prawns that I have no choice but to swallow it. Else if I dig out all the prawn then dunno eat what. The food is soooo not for me.
Each time we ordered lunch set which comes with a drink, the lansi-waitress will ask if you want coffee or nai-cha (milk tea), I always wanted to say "teh-o"... but I end up confusing her whenever I ask for "do u have anything without milk?!" Brrrrrrr..... ok "ice lemon tea" then. I know I shouldn't drink too much ice-lemon tea but that's the only drink I know how to say in cantonese which I will drink... not coffee not milk tea... and they got no MILO :( Menu are mostly in traditional chinese text which i could hardly make sense off... very pathetic for me coming from Chinese school but that's a fact, I don't understand the menu and they don't care to explain nicely.. or worst, they tend to sound insulting when you can't read.
One lady even say "don't bother reading that, that's in English, u won't know anyway"... *roll eye*
How about shopping? Well i went back to the same ESPRIT outlet store at Tsim Sha Tsui, bringing along the other travel mates. Cos tat's exactly where I went to for major shopping the last trip. Cos it's really tiring bargaining at the Ladies-Street, esp with that sweaty body. Atleast at the aircon big story, there's fitting room! You get to try and try and try and choose from so many ESPRIT apparels... its more rewarding I guess. Later we found out there's more of these 'outlet' stores at Lantau Island... but still not cheap lah... imagine outlets for DKNY, CK, AX, NIKE, Laura Ashley... 70% discount for a HK$5000 LV bag also pengsan neh!
Travelling abroad always make me look back home and appreciate the country that is Malaysia! Maybe can say... once a Malaysian, always a Malaysian?
Sayang bought me chinesy qibao blouse, purple-white colour.. I showed to mom, she said "you buy pyjama?"
Anyway, shall not let my mind wonder off too far... just like what I read about current Malaysian political front -- there's no uncertainty only opportunity. Nobody know for sure if DSAI will be the next PM, everybody just wish that something good will come out of the whole situation. Just like my job / career, nobody will know if new company will be good for my future... just expect the least, and hope for the best!
So now what about my HK trip?! Why people seem to like to ask this question. Maybe I'll be more excited if I came back from Europe or volunteering for beijing olympics... somehow, I'm just thankful and glad to be back home to Malaysia.
It was my 2nd trip to HK... which I was hesitating to go in the first place... because I've ALREADY backpacked travel HK-macao before 2 years old during xmas season. What could top that? I've come to acknowledge that travelling during summer / or extremely hot weather is a NO NO! In my 1st trip to HK-macao, I was freezing... in this trip, I was sweating like mad! The heat just took away half of the fun of sight-seeing / walking.
And my legs are itching.... got lotsa red spots like alergy or rashes, and sometimes I couldn't stop scratching it... already got ugly legs now tambah lagi red polka dots... no need to wear skirt liow. Lagi DnD besok... Might be due to the trip to Lantau island, Tai-O fishing village... I saw some tiny insects resting on my legs and I didn't bother to shoo it away. So hot and tired, I was trying to fan myself more than be bothered why the legs are itchy.
Abang stayed in this really fancy high-rise condo on the HK island by the sea side... the balcony overlooking the old airport and other side of HK. Pretty amazing sight from high up 69th floor but not inspiring enough... that I feel like I miss Malaysia!!!
I miss the roticanai & dal... the thosai and milo... they don't have my basic favourite food?! No MILO?! No nasi lemak.. no roti canai.. no sambal... eat dimsum without sauce... I've had enuff of wonton-mee with wonton full of prawns that I have no choice but to swallow it. Else if I dig out all the prawn then dunno eat what. The food is soooo not for me.
Each time we ordered lunch set which comes with a drink, the lansi-waitress will ask if you want coffee or nai-cha (milk tea), I always wanted to say "teh-o"... but I end up confusing her whenever I ask for "do u have anything without milk?!" Brrrrrrr..... ok "ice lemon tea" then. I know I shouldn't drink too much ice-lemon tea but that's the only drink I know how to say in cantonese which I will drink... not coffee not milk tea... and they got no MILO :( Menu are mostly in traditional chinese text which i could hardly make sense off... very pathetic for me coming from Chinese school but that's a fact, I don't understand the menu and they don't care to explain nicely.. or worst, they tend to sound insulting when you can't read.
One lady even say "don't bother reading that, that's in English, u won't know anyway"... *roll eye*
How about shopping? Well i went back to the same ESPRIT outlet store at Tsim Sha Tsui, bringing along the other travel mates. Cos tat's exactly where I went to for major shopping the last trip. Cos it's really tiring bargaining at the Ladies-Street, esp with that sweaty body. Atleast at the aircon big story, there's fitting room! You get to try and try and try and choose from so many ESPRIT apparels... its more rewarding I guess. Later we found out there's more of these 'outlet' stores at Lantau Island... but still not cheap lah... imagine outlets for DKNY, CK, AX, NIKE, Laura Ashley... 70% discount for a HK$5000 LV bag also pengsan neh!
Travelling abroad always make me look back home and appreciate the country that is Malaysia! Maybe can say... once a Malaysian, always a Malaysian?
Sayang bought me chinesy qibao blouse, purple-white colour.. I showed to mom, she said "you buy pyjama?"
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Me and my big mouth...
Maybe there's certain things that I really shouldn't say it out loud, at that instant when I'm saying it, it didn't ever cross my mind that I shouldn't say it. I have to admit this is the "E" type of me.
(...yes stereotyping myself is what I'm really good at and enjoy doing...)
There is a big reason why this blog is 'private' and not for work-cllg to read... because corporate world doesn't really match well with my social/personal life.
Right now all I wanna rant about is me being so "E" to automatically reveal to teammate that I got the bank job offer, tho we're both hush hush about it. Smart fella he ask me for the bank interviewer contact... he took the liberty to email and even call up my future boss to arrange for an interview!
Here I thought I could escape from the company... well and also the people... but this cannot be happening!!! I cannot imagine if he really got the SAME job as me in the SAME bank doing the SAME thing! Gosshh....
Actually he's definitely uninspiring... one of the worst worker you can ever find, but I cannot tell him straight that I think he should buck up. He's already getting salt from the management, by getting 0% increment... can you imagine how 'bad' is his performance? Well good thing is, it'll make me look better than him... but I'd rather work with somebody like smarter / more hardworking / better attitude / more motivated at work!
I'm not a person who will intentionally take advantage of people, but its sooooo easy for me to screw him. He arrives in office >8.30am, go home <5.30pm, go out for lunch longer than me - consistantly. And he's terrible at pretending to be a good worker, by taking a nap at 10am... Yes he can just pull his chair near to the desk, laptop screen lowered, as if as he's looking very closely at the monitor, but his eyes are closed. I sit beside him i know lah! What you want me to do? Wake him up? Or become like the kpc to private msg the big boss?
This cannot happen!!! Now I only wish that he don't sabo me... cos I haven't get the LO yet. It didn't occur to me that he'll ever sabo me, his only naive wish is that we both resign together. Yes I jump he jump. I hate that phrase.
My dad just gave me a scare when I told him abt this... cos dad kutuk me for being so stupid to always dunno how to keep my mouth shut. Deep inside I know my cllg will not harm me... but I cannot control what's beyond my control.
Anyway.. I will keep on sending positive energy towards all beings.. even if its to my current teamlead & managers. They're not harmful... I just hope that things don't get complicated next month when I return from HK.
Nobody at work will be expecting this from me. I'm like playing poker in the office. Question of what happen should there be a counter offer? DOH!!!
(...yes stereotyping myself is what I'm really good at and enjoy doing...)
There is a big reason why this blog is 'private' and not for work-cllg to read... because corporate world doesn't really match well with my social/personal life.
Right now all I wanna rant about is me being so "E" to automatically reveal to teammate that I got the bank job offer, tho we're both hush hush about it. Smart fella he ask me for the bank interviewer contact... he took the liberty to email and even call up my future boss to arrange for an interview!
Here I thought I could escape from the company... well and also the people... but this cannot be happening!!! I cannot imagine if he really got the SAME job as me in the SAME bank doing the SAME thing! Gosshh....
Actually he's definitely uninspiring... one of the worst worker you can ever find, but I cannot tell him straight that I think he should buck up. He's already getting salt from the management, by getting 0% increment... can you imagine how 'bad' is his performance? Well good thing is, it'll make me look better than him... but I'd rather work with somebody like smarter / more hardworking / better attitude / more motivated at work!
I'm not a person who will intentionally take advantage of people, but its sooooo easy for me to screw him. He arrives in office >8.30am, go home <5.30pm, go out for lunch longer than me - consistantly. And he's terrible at pretending to be a good worker, by taking a nap at 10am... Yes he can just pull his chair near to the desk, laptop screen lowered, as if as he's looking very closely at the monitor, but his eyes are closed. I sit beside him i know lah! What you want me to do? Wake him up? Or become like the kpc to private msg the big boss?
This cannot happen!!! Now I only wish that he don't sabo me... cos I haven't get the LO yet. It didn't occur to me that he'll ever sabo me, his only naive wish is that we both resign together. Yes I jump he jump. I hate that phrase.
My dad just gave me a scare when I told him abt this... cos dad kutuk me for being so stupid to always dunno how to keep my mouth shut. Deep inside I know my cllg will not harm me... but I cannot control what's beyond my control.
Anyway.. I will keep on sending positive energy towards all beings.. even if its to my current teamlead & managers. They're not harmful... I just hope that things don't get complicated next month when I return from HK.
Nobody at work will be expecting this from me. I'm like playing poker in the office. Question of what happen should there be a counter offer? DOH!!!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Hmm...
Hmm... if you're wondering who's the schweird girl that called me out of no where, she was my secondary school classmate. I wonder what I can say to her on the phone when she narrated about her unreal story about her ex-boss mind-reading her & claiming to be jesus? Maybe I should directly enrole to join level2 of the BGF counselling course!
What is counseling?
Counseling is a process that enables a person in need (PIN) to sort out issues and reach decisions affecting his life.
It involves talking with another person in a way that helps the PIN solve a problem or helps to create conditions that will cause the PIN to understand and/or improve his behavior, character, values or life circumstances.
Counseling is a process that enables a person in need (PIN) to sort out issues and reach decisions affecting his life.
It involves talking with another person in a way that helps the PIN solve a problem or helps to create conditions that will cause the PIN to understand and/or improve his behavior, character, values or life circumstances.
It is not about giving advice (*should remember that*). It is about helping and supporting a person in need to find an understanding and answers that work for that person. Counseling is a friendly, supportive and positive approach to personal development.
~*~
No regret, I skipped the past life talk at BGF to be home watching the closing ceremony of beijing olympic. Very very interesting! The pretty qibao the ladies wore -- i want! Esp the those worn by the medal/flower ladies with flair skirt... so cool.
Somehow I have high hopes for China (economy wise)! Although I speak like a Malaysian and feel totally Malaysian... I wish I could wear the traditional chinese baju & understand 华文.
Broadly speaking... I wish for China, India together with East Asia, South Asia & SEAsia to move or challenge the world.
Finish crapping... :P
Friday, August 22, 2008
Random words
There's alot of words that went through my head... most of the time. From the moment something happened, I would think of the words of what to blog about when I get my fingers on the keyboard.
Like how do I link up all the schweird people and how do I deal with them?
How do I talk to this ex-classmate who would call me up again and start talking about jesus christ being chinese and brandon is jesus christ and he really is. What has got into her mind? What caused her to go insane? Is it because of her past life karma? Why is it so hard for schweird people to differentiate the real and the unreal?
If you say, ignore. Don't bother. Don't care. Ok so next time when the phone starts to ring (since you didn't save her number), you don't know that schweird people will call, you just answer the phone.. and when you realised its her "ooops!" *click* -- duutt duutt duuttttttt.....
Of course its easy to do that... do I want to do that? Why don't I want to do that?
When my teamlead ask me to do things, anything, I will just agree to do it.
My teammate would start saying "I'll do what you're asking me to do later, I have got my things to do first..."
...then he make that face for me to see. Why have I never talk like that to my teamlead (nor to anybody) at all? Seriously... what my teamlead would suddenly ask us to do adhoc-ly is not difficult, most of the time instructions will be given, all I gotta do is just do it. Simple.
I don't have a proper topic to write about now... maybe for fear of those schweird people reading my blog and mis-interpret it their own way, and somehow I just don't have enough patience to deal with them.
I am so impatient, I can't paint a pebble. I used to be able to paint / draw in school, but it takes me longer than usual to complete a piece of artblock. It takes alot of energy and time to paint the perfect picture. I liked art in school... I think I still appreciate art now... but I have lost my patience to time, that I don't remember when did I lose it.
The art of time management says that prioritise what is 'important' first above what is 'urgent'. But what is 'important'? What is important to me today, might not be important tomorrow. My mind is so random, I can manipulate my own mind. If I have a clear mind, I can even see how easily it is to manipulate others.
For example, I don't like talking to my mom, because she likes to pick on me on all the wuliow petty stupid stuff that you will be so annoyed with her. You bring home some rocks and you might want her help to paint the rocks, but first you hear complains about how stupid it is to get rocks, so heavy, so much work, so many to do.... then you bring home paint & brushes, and you just say a few words like "maybe you can try paint like this one (show sample), see if you can paint nicer than this?"
There she started painting... so nicely. Taking out her old art-book samples...
This evening, painting adjourned to BGF. But when I got home with the paint & stuff... it was already near midnight, thought mom should go sleep. I knew it that one sentence that I could say, would make her sooooo excited... "I asked Dtk to pick the nicest rock, you know which one he chose? Neehhh the one you paint one the one with alot of petals very big the one!!!"
I think it didn't take more than 5 minutes.... she took out the stones... and the paint and brushes... and started painting.
*yeah its 1am now she's still actively painting on the other table not disturbing me*
Words could hurt, words could flatter. The choice of my words could influence the listerner, to recieve it sourly or to take it sweetly.
I guess I have to remind myself of the intention inside my head... sometimes to me words doesn't matter (although it has always put in hot soup)... because I can say something sweet & nice to hear but there's ulterior intention to please you, there's also the crude & unfiltered hurtful remarks that I could simply babble without intention to displease you.
What's my point anyway?
Like how do I link up all the schweird people and how do I deal with them?
How do I talk to this ex-classmate who would call me up again and start talking about jesus christ being chinese and brandon is jesus christ and he really is. What has got into her mind? What caused her to go insane? Is it because of her past life karma? Why is it so hard for schweird people to differentiate the real and the unreal?
If you say, ignore. Don't bother. Don't care. Ok so next time when the phone starts to ring (since you didn't save her number), you don't know that schweird people will call, you just answer the phone.. and when you realised its her "ooops!" *click* -- duutt duutt duuttttttt.....
Of course its easy to do that... do I want to do that? Why don't I want to do that?
When my teamlead ask me to do things, anything, I will just agree to do it.
My teammate would start saying "I'll do what you're asking me to do later, I have got my things to do first..."
...then he make that face for me to see. Why have I never talk like that to my teamlead (nor to anybody) at all? Seriously... what my teamlead would suddenly ask us to do adhoc-ly is not difficult, most of the time instructions will be given, all I gotta do is just do it. Simple.
I don't have a proper topic to write about now... maybe for fear of those schweird people reading my blog and mis-interpret it their own way, and somehow I just don't have enough patience to deal with them.
I am so impatient, I can't paint a pebble. I used to be able to paint / draw in school, but it takes me longer than usual to complete a piece of artblock. It takes alot of energy and time to paint the perfect picture. I liked art in school... I think I still appreciate art now... but I have lost my patience to time, that I don't remember when did I lose it.
The art of time management says that prioritise what is 'important' first above what is 'urgent'. But what is 'important'? What is important to me today, might not be important tomorrow. My mind is so random, I can manipulate my own mind. If I have a clear mind, I can even see how easily it is to manipulate others.
For example, I don't like talking to my mom, because she likes to pick on me on all the wuliow petty stupid stuff that you will be so annoyed with her. You bring home some rocks and you might want her help to paint the rocks, but first you hear complains about how stupid it is to get rocks, so heavy, so much work, so many to do.... then you bring home paint & brushes, and you just say a few words like "maybe you can try paint like this one (show sample), see if you can paint nicer than this?"
There she started painting... so nicely. Taking out her old art-book samples...
This evening, painting adjourned to BGF. But when I got home with the paint & stuff... it was already near midnight, thought mom should go sleep. I knew it that one sentence that I could say, would make her sooooo excited... "I asked Dtk to pick the nicest rock, you know which one he chose? Neehhh the one you paint one the one with alot of petals very big the one!!!"
I think it didn't take more than 5 minutes.... she took out the stones... and the paint and brushes... and started painting.
*yeah its 1am now she's still actively painting on the other table not disturbing me*
Words could hurt, words could flatter. The choice of my words could influence the listerner, to recieve it sourly or to take it sweetly.
I guess I have to remind myself of the intention inside my head... sometimes to me words doesn't matter (although it has always put in hot soup)... because I can say something sweet & nice to hear but there's ulterior intention to please you, there's also the crude & unfiltered hurtful remarks that I could simply babble without intention to displease you.
What's my point anyway?
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